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"Those two are recent Powerball money. The people by the table are old state-lottery money."
A man shows up to a lottery winner's door with a 1040 form.
Tags:1040, 1040 form, 1040 forms, tax, taxes, tax season, tax seasons, tax form, tax forms, tax return, tax returns, income, income bracket, income brackets, tax bracket, tax brackets, lotto, lottery, lottery winner, lottery winners, lottery winning, win, wins, winning, winner, winners, irs, i.r.s., internal revenue service, file taxes, files taxes, filing taxes, audit, audits, auditing, auditor, auditors, accountant, accountants, personal accountant, personal accountants, winning, winnings
"As a potential lottery winner, I totally support tax cuts for the wealthy."
Tags:wealthy, wealth, wealthy people, poor people, poor, rich, rich people, blue collar, blue collar worker, blue collar workers, blue collar job, blue collar jobs, pub, pubs, bar, bars, drink, drinks, drinking, drinker, drinkers, chat, chatting, lottery, lotto, sweepstake, gamble, gambler, gamblers, gambling, rip-off, tax cuts
Comparing lottery odds with bus punctuality.
"Peggy was so excited that we won something on the lottery ticket, I didn't have the heart to tell her it was only two dollars!"
'Wow! What luck... we've won the lottery.'
'Do you have one with the number 401k? under the law averages, it's bound to be winner.'
"I told her I won the lottery, I didn't tell her it was £10!"
'Since stocks are so wacko now,I'm advising clients to go with their lucky numbers on lotto tickets.'
'I'd like to take this opportunity to say goodbye to my wife, relatives and friends.'
'Congratulations, you won $34. Let me call you a limo.'
'And just how are we going to win if every time I buy a ticket, you eat it?'
Vending machines at work: Snacks, Coffee, Glimmer of Hope
Tags:why me, why not, why not you, lottery, lotteries, lottery ticket, lottery tickets, lotto, lotto ticket, lotto tickets, luck, lucky, unlucky, god, mysterious way, mysterious ways, lord, the lord, divine will, divine wills, divinity, divine, judgement, judgements, judgment, judgments, god's will, will of god, unrealistic
"You owe us five more dollars."
'Apology accepted! Good day!'
'I used to be really depressed about losing the superlotto, but then I found this support group, and I realized I'm not the only person who hasn't won.'
'You owe us five more dollars.'
"No point buying our ticket here - the odds of them selling another big winner are ridiculous."
Tags:lottery, lotto, lottos, lotto ticket, lotto tickets, lottery ticket, lottery tickets, lotteries, lotto winner, lotto winners, lottery winner, lottery winners, millionaires, millionaire, gambling, odds, winner, ticket, ridiculous, chance, luck, statistics, calculation, probability, maths, math, store, newsagent, betting, logic
"I don't buy a lottery ticket but I do play along just for fun."
Tags:lottery ticket, lottery tickets, gamble, gambles, lottos, lotto number, lotto numbers, lottery, lotto, lottery numbers, bingo, just for fun, gambling, lottery winner, state lottery, lottery draw, lottery draws, lotteries, draw, prize draw, lottery funding, lucky draw, lucky dip, lucky number, lucky numbers
"Rodney always gives the lottery balls a little extra lucky shake, just before the draw."
"Dream of a jackpot win on the lottery? Nah. . . I'd still know I was me."
"What are the odds? First he wins the lottery and then he gets struck by lightning."
Tags:lottery, lottery ticket, lottery winner, windfall, windfalls, gambler, gamblers, gamble, gambles, gambling, winner, odds, longshot, longshots, long-shot, long-shots, money, millionaire, lightning, one in a million, lightning strike, astronomical odds, chance, lightning strike, as much chance as, struck by lightning, burn, fry, sizzle, million volts, electricity, check, lottery check, raffle, sweepstake, lotto, chance, numbers game, lucky numbers, favorite numbers, game of chance