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"Darling Elizabeth! How I long to hold you betwixt my giant industrial clamps."
"I wrote you a poem about how much I want to sh*g you!"
'A loaf of bread, a jug of wine, a CD player, a laptop computer, a cordless phone and thou.'
"I'm texting you a love poem inspired by the emoji you sent me."
The Red Cat: Draught Dodger/How the Red Cat Sees the Garden/Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, If I had a dead mouse, I'd give it to you.
"My mating dances were unsuccessful, so I tried reciting poetry: didn't work either..."
'If I inspired this love peom, how come it's written on the back of a Hooters' napkin?'
A man reads a woman's poetry book instead of the morning paper.
You made me love you.
Two love poems in swimming pool. Shallow end and deep end.
"THREE quid for a romantic verse? Don't you have any snappy one liners for 50p.?"
Love birds: 'How do I love thee? Let me count the ways.'
"They're love poems alright, but he cuts up the lines, throws them in the air and reassembles them randomly..."
Miss Joan Hunter Dunn