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"I can assure you that if I join the firm my commitment will be absolutely resolute for the forseeable future..."
'I'm so dedicated that I decided just to tattoo my name tag on.'
"Martin here? He's been here so long he's part of the furniture."
"Call me paranoid, but I think the company is systematically replacing us with dogs."
'We want someone we can count on to stick around a while. You keep jumping from job to job.'
"He's an extremely loyal employee, but you have to walk him twice a day."
Employee of the Year
"I busted unions for 30 years until the company tossed me out without a pension."
"Workers just aren't loyal anymore, so in anticipation of that, I'm letting you go before I hire you."