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"Good news—those lumps were just coal."
Tags:winter, wintertime, snow, snowman, snowmen, weather, season, seasons, seasonal, hospital, hospitals, clinic, clinics, doctor's office, doctor's office, medical, medicine, doctor, doctors, patient, patients, health, health care, healthcare, lump, lumps, result, results, diagnosis, diagnoses, coal, charcoal, good news, healthy
"We found this in your brain."
David Blaine, Age 60
Tags:david blaine, magic, magician, magicians, magical, illusion, illusions, endurance, enduring, endure, cot, old age, growing, old, aging, aged, guest, guests, uncomfortable, uncomfy, painful, pain, pains, irritate, irritating, guest cot, staying over, entertain, boring, unimpressive, unimpressed, stunt, stunts, ice block, ice blocks, endurance, endurance test, endurance tests, mattress, mattresses, lump, lumps, lumpy
'Probably just a spider bite.'
"We found a lumpty."
Tags:hospital, hospitals, clinic, clinics, doctor's office, doctor's offices, medical, medicine, doctor, doctors, patient, patients, health, health care, healthcare, egg, eggs, nursery rhyme, nursery rhymes, rhyme, rhymes, mother goose, literature, children's story, children's stories, fictional character, fictional characters, humpty dumpty, lump, lumps, growth, growths, tumor, tumors, tumour, tumours, cancer, bad news
'Doctor, in your expert medical opinion, is this lump in my armpit anything to be concerned about?'
'I've found this lump on my testicle, would you like to have a look?'
"The bad news is you do have a lump the size of a golf ball. The good news is my tests indicate it's just a golf ball."
"Our first order of business will be the new speed bump in the parking lot."
Tags:speed bump, speed bumps, parking lot, parking lots, carpark, carparks, car park, car parks, parking garage, parking garages, employee parking, bruise, bruises, bruising, injure, injures, injury, injuries, swollen, swell, swells, swelling, bump, bumps, lump, lumps, head, heads, skull, skulls, cranium, craniums
'Your tests came back. . . bad news. Not only did we find a lump, you are a lump. . .'
'Don't get me wrong... I love cake, but it goes straight to my hump.'
"Good news-the lump is nothing to worry about."
'This mattress feels lumpy, but then again, that could be me.'
'Take one of these everyday and it should balance things out.'
"It doesn't look like a goose bump to me. It's more like a concussion!"
'No, dear. Those aren't goose pimples. They're goose bumps.'
'Warning: Slipping on this banana peel may be hazardous to your health.'
"The tumor's about the size of that lump on your neck."
"...that lump in your sack is just a soccer ball."
'That spot on your stomach has gotten larger... but then so has your stomach.'
'You're through around here.. turn in your rubber donut!'
The Princess and the Pea Soup.
'Daughter?! Who did this to you? I bet it was your ugly new boyfriend - that useless, dirty, rotten punk!' 'Nope. It was the fastfood industry.'
'It's not malignant...But is is a son of a bitch.'