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'As part of our growth strategy we intend to build 76% more of them...as soon as we find out what they do!'
"The atoms are burned on the outside but still ice-cold in the middle."
Tags:atom, atoms, science, scientific, scientist, scientists, professor, professors, food, foods, foodie, foodies, food lover, food lovers, microwave, tech, technological, scientific equipment, equipment, machine, machines, machinery, burned, burning, baking, baked, baker, baked, reheating, reheat, reheated, hadron, collider, spoof, spoofs, test, testing, experiment, experiments
'Told you to get your mower fixed.'
"Where's the business end of this thing?"
Tags:technology, technologies, machine, machines, machinery, complex, complicated, complexity, convolute, convoluted, overcomplicated, labyrinthine, rube goldberg, industry, industrial, industrial design, industrial designer, industrial designs, heath-robinson, contraption, contraptions, confusing, confusion, confused, manufacture, manufacturing, lab, laboratory, equipment
OBSOLETE: Any really expensive state of the art equipment you bought last year.
Whatever the heck it is, it's built exactly to specifications.
'He's not much fun in the evenings -- he's solar powered.'
Bulltoon: Bull dozer!
Turning 'Raw Hype' Into 'Pure Hype'
Tags:hype, hyping, excited, excite, excitement, process, processing, change, changing, tech, technology, techs, technologies, technological, machine, machinery, public relations, public, public relation, pr, p r, internet, audience, audiences, buyer, buyers, demand, demands, productive, productivity, buyer desire, business, businesses, advert, ad, ads, advertising, commercial, commercials, marketing, market, brand, branding, branded
'Are you telling me you wouldn't like to golf when you're out in the fields.'
Acme-5000 Lie Detector
Tags:pants on fire, liar liar, lies, lie, lying, liars, lied, lie detector, tech, technology, machine, machinery, machines, truth, truthful, honest, honesty, tell the truth, investigate, investigation, investigates, interrogate, interrogation, interrogating, interrogates, lie-detector, lie detectors, lie-detectors, conspiracy, conspiracy theory, conspiracy theories, techie, teckie, tech
'This is okay, but my ambition is to be an automatic teller.'
Obsolete: Any piece of machinery that you bought last week for $100,000.
'Well, they're just like your mom's cookies if your mom is a 35 ton, multi-unit dough extruder.'
'The big hand is on the 12 and the little hand is on the 4.'
'Now all this stuff will finally begin to pay for itself - here's the formula for transmuting lead into gold.'
'I've found a spade I like Julia...'
Transactional Analysis - The Child.
'Oh picky,picky!! We TOLD you there'd be a little mess while we replaced the sidewalk!!'
Factory foreman says: 'Sometimes the machines here do try to take over the world. Last week the coffee maker even had a go.'
'The traffic wardens around here are absolute b**tards.'
"It was really embarrassing. They had to use the Jaws of Life to get me out of my skinny jeans."
The Next Generation of Smart Weapons; Think Tank.
"OK guys - we'll show them how to dig for coal."
Tags:coal, coal miner, coal miners, dig, digs, digger, diggers, digging, coal machinery, jobs, coal job, coal jobs, power tool, power tools, machine, machines, machinery, industrial labor, industrial labour, coal mine, coal mines, demonstrate, demonstrates, demonstration, demonstrations, demonstrating, manual labor, manual laborer
Orchestra playing to working man.