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'Well, the magic of Christmas is officially over, unless it includes waking up to a septic tank backup.'
Tags:family life, family-life, septic tank, septic tanks, plunger, plungers, plumber, plumbers, plumbing, christmas morning, christmas mornings, xmas, magic, festive spirit, festive spirits, seasonal spirit, emergency plumber, emergencies, disenchantment, disenchanted, holidays, real life adventures
"Why isn't my car horn magically fixing everything?"
Tags:car, cars, vehicle, vehicle, truck, trucks, driver, drivers, driving, drive, traffic, bad traffic, traffic jam, traffic jams, rush hour, crowded, jammed, packed, bumper-to-bumper, bumper to bumper, gridlock, highway, highways, motorway, motorways, commute, commuting, commuter, commuters, honk, honking, horn, horns, car horn, car horns, magic, impatient, impatience, aggression, aggressive, road rage, angry, anger, not moving, parked, transportation
Noreldo, The Mental Marvel, Reads The Mind Of His Cat, Ned:
Tags:animal, animals, pet, pets, cat, cats, pet owner, pet owners, cat owner, cat owners, feed me, food, empty bowl, empty dish, food bowl, cat food, hungry, hunger, starve, starving, magician, magicians, bad magician, bad magicians, magic act, magic acts, magic, mind reader, mind readers, reading minds, telepathy, telepathic, obvious, hint, self-evident, oblivious
"How come when men cook outdoors it's 'barbecuing,' but when women do it it's 'witchcraft'?"
Tags:witches, witchcraft, cauldrons, cauldron, magic, black magic, potion, potions, poison, poisons, cooking, cook, pot stirring, barbecuing, barbecue, bbq, cookout, grilling, grill, boil, boiled, gender stereotypes, gender norms, gender roles, full moon, women, men, magical, magic potion, magic potions
"Whoever pulls it out becomes King of Britain, but Phil licked the handle, so..."
Master of Illusion
A man is trapped in a painting.
Tags:painting, paintings, painter, painters, artist, artists, artistry, realistic, curse, curses, cursed, punishment, punishments, magic, magical, trapped, stuck, unnerve, unnerves, unnerving, painting collection, painting collections, art collector, art collectors, art collection, art collections, perspective, forced perspective
Tags:operation, operations, operating, o.r., o.r.s, or, ors, operating room, operating rooms, operation room, operation rooms, surgery, surgeries, surgeon, surgeons, doctor, doctors, patient, patients, hospital, hospitals, medicine, medical, healthcare, health care, magic, magic trick, magic tricks, magician, magicians, magic act, magic acts, illusionist, illusionists
"Ulrich, that's bad science and you know it!"
Tags:witch, witches, wizard, wizards, cauldron, cauldrons, alchemy, alchemist, alchemists, potion, potions, spell, spells, magic, magic spell, magic spells, scientist, scientists, test, tests, testing, scientific method, sorcerer, sorcerers, sorcery, science, know better, knows better, quack, quacks
'Well, doc, I still have that pain in my back. . .'
"Bear with me-I put my hat on upside down."
Magical box of chocolates.
Tags:food, chocolate, chocolates, box of chocolate, box of chocolates, chocolatier, chocolatiers, confectionery, confectioneries, confectioner, confectioners, candy maker, candy makers, candy making, sweets, candy, gift, gifts, present, presents, christmas present, christmas presents, christmas gift, christmas gifts, xmas, christmas, disappearing, disappeared, eating, magic, magical, delicious, tasty, addicting
"It's been moved and seconded, Cartwright, that we clap if we believe in fairies."
Tags:office, offices, business, businesses, businessman, businessmen, executive, executives, businesswoman, businesswomen, meeting, meetings, majority rules, fairies, fairy, pixie, pixies, magic, magical, tinkerbell effect, clap if you believe, believe, believing, believable, fantasy, literature, literacy, literary, book, books, writer, writers, writing, character, characters
"I trust him - he has a science background."
Tags:kids, kid, child, children, wizard, magic, magician, potion, magic potion, cauldron, cook, cooking, poison, animals, animal cruelty, animal rights, black magic, science, scientists, scientist, experiment, experiments, laboratory, lab, qualifications, unqualified, qualified, trust, trustworthy, skills, background skills
David Blaine, Age 60
Tags:david blaine, magic, magician, magicians, magical, illusion, illusions, endurance, enduring, endure, cot, old age, growing, old, aging, aged, guest, guests, uncomfortable, uncomfy, painful, pain, pains, irritate, irritating, guest cot, staying over, entertain, boring, unimpressive, unimpressed, stunt, stunts, ice block, ice blocks, endurance, endurance test, endurance tests, mattress, mattresses, lump, lumps, lumpy
"I am the Lady of the Lake, and because thou hast defiled my crystal waters I must hence smite thee. That or penalize thee a stroke. Your call."
Tags:sport, sports, golf, golfer, golfers, golfing, water trap, water traps, water hazard, water hazards, hazard, hazards, water, pond, ponds, lake, lakes, golf course, golf courses, excalibur, king arthur, lady of the lake, camelot, arthurian, literature, myth, myths, legend, legends, folklore, nimue, sorceress, sorceresses, enchantress, enchantresses, magic, mystical, magical, penalty, penalties, punishment, punishments, death, penalty stroke, penalty strokes, threat, threats, threatening, stroke, strokes, score, scores
"Well, darn, Ted, I just can't stay mad at you."
Tags:relationship, relationships, marriage, married, husband, husbands, wife, wives, spouse, spouses, couple, couples, men, man, woman, women, date, dates, dating, girlfriend, girlfriends, boyfriend, boyfriends, magic, magician, magicians, entertainment, humor, humour, sense of humor, sense of humour
"And on my left is 'The Great Fantino,' who takes the position that the deficit will disappear by magic."
"Drive you to the airport? Gee, man. I don't know..."
"It's one of those microbrews."
"Yeah, I could walk all the way to Egypt. Or you could just free them yourself using magic."
Tags:religion, religious, moses, old testament, exodus, bible, god, egypt, burning bush, burn, burning, bush, bushes, fire, on fire, flaming, flame, flames, shepherd, shepherds, sheep, magic, magic power, magic powers, magical power, magical powers, free, do it yourself, diy, easier, easy way out, problem solver, problem solvers, shpasik, jtoons
"Well, if you can't walk through walls this is where I say goodbye."
Tags:superpower, superpowers, magic, magic trick, magic tricks, ghost, ghosts, supernatural, expectation, expectations, date, dates, end of the night, end of the line, goodbye, goodbyes, bad date, bad dates, spirit, spirits, apparition, apparitions, breakup, breakups, break-up, break-ups, incompatible, incompatibility, walk through walls, walking through walls, corporeal, superhero, superheroes
'Nope! Wrong again! Let's try it again... around and around... now which cup is your nitroglycerin tablet under?'
Magic kit - make anything mysteriously disappear.
A subway magician pulls a rat out of his hat.