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A woman glides down a water slide
"How come when men cook outdoors it's 'barbecuing,' but when women do it it's 'witchcraft'?"
A man is trapped in a painting.
Tags:painting, paintings, painter, painters, artist, artists, artistry, realistic, curse, curses, cursed, punishments, magic, magical, trapped, stuck, unnerve, unnerves, unnerving, painting collection, painting collections, art collector, art collectors, art collection, art collections, perspective, forced perspective
Magical box of chocolates.
Tags:food, chocolate, chocolates, box of chocolate, box of chocolates, chocolatier, chocolatiers, confectionery, confectioneries, confectioner, confectioners, candy maker, candy makers, candy making, sweets, candy, gift, gifts, present, presents, christmas present, christmas presents, christmas gift, christmas gifts, xmas, christmas, disappearing, disappeared, eating, magic, magical, delicious, tasty, addicting
"It's been moved and seconded, Cartwright, that we clap if we believe in fairies."
Tags:office, offices, business, businesses, businessman, businessmen, executive, executives, businesswoman, businesswomen, meeting, meetings, majority rules, fairies, fairy, pixie, pixies, magic, magical, tinkerbell effect, clap if you believe, believe, believing, believable, fantasy, literature, literacy, literary, book, books, writer, writers, writing, character, characters
"I am the Lady of the Lake, and because thou hast defiled my crystal waters I must hence smite thee. That or penalize thee a stroke. Your call."
Tags:sport, sports, golf, golfer, golfers, golfing, water trap, water traps, water hazard, water hazards, hazard, hazards, water, pond, ponds, lake, lakes, golf course, golf courses, excalibur, king arthur, lady of the lake, camelot, arthurian, literature, myth, myths, legend, legends, folklore, nimue, sorceress, sorceresses, enchantress, enchantresses, magic, mystical, magical, penalty, penalties, punishments, death, penalty stroke, penalty strokes, threat, threats, threatening, stroke, strokes, score, scores
David Blaine, Age 60
Tags:david blaine, magic, magician, magicians, magical, illusion, illusions, endurance, enduring, endure, cot, old age, growing, old, aging, aged, guest, guests, uncomfortable, uncomfy, painful, pain, pains, irritate, irritating, guest cot, staying over, entertain, boring, unimpressive, unimpressed, stunt, stunts, ice block, ice blocks, endurance, endurance test, endurance tests, mattress, mattresses, lump, lumps, lumpy
"Drive you to the airport? Gee, man. I don't know..."
"It's one of those microbrews."
'What if we don't change at all ... and something magical just happens?'
The Great Sarcasmo
Chinese New Year
"No, Tim, you're not crazy. You're special! You're a very special person, Tim. You have a magical, talking toaster, and that's what makes you special."
Aladdin's Less Magic Carpet Ride.
Tags:waste management, waste disposal, rubbish, rubbish tip, rubbish tips, bin-man, bin-men, bin, bins, aladdin, magic carpet, magic carpets, magical, magics, genie, genies, fairy story, fairy stories, fairy tale, fairy tales, flying, fly, flies, wish, wishes, wishing, the argyle sweater, argyle sweater
Meet a Representative of Santa Claus
Tags:representative, representatives, legal rep, legal reps, legal representative, legal representatives, santa, santa claus, father christmas, saint nick, saint nicholas, st nick, st. nick, st nicholas, st. nicholas, festive period, festive season, xmas, christmas, christmases, visit, visits, grotto, grottos, magic, magical
"Oh, sorry—I think I just butt-summoned you."
Tags:satan, satanic, satanic rituals, rituals, occult, cult, cultist, lucifer, witch, witches, black magic, dark magic, demon, demons, demonology, devil, the devil, black mass, black masses, robe, robes, magic, magical, spiritual, spirit, astral, technology, tech, phone, phones, mobile phone, mobile, mobiles, cell, cellphone, cell phone, cell phones, cells, call, called, butt dial, butt dials, butt dialled, serious implications, implications, wrong number, wrong, incorrect, number, pentagram, circle, pentacle
"Oh well, I'm off the see the orthopedist."
"Come on, honey, enough with the magic realism."
"Unicorns do exist!"
Tags:unicorn, unicorns, unicorn horn, unicorn horns, rare, legendary, magical, mythical, creature, creatures, exist, proof, evidence, hunter, hunter, hunt, hunting, gun, guns, firearm, firearms, rifle, rifles, hunting rifle, hunting rifles, shooter, shooters, shoot, kill, killed, trophy, trophies, horn, horns, animal, animals, game, game hunter, game hunters, game hunting, safari, extinct, extinction, last unicorn, endangered, endangered species, destruction, environmental destruction, poaching, poach
'Rubbing it no longer produces a genie. Now you need a username, password and an unreadable CAPTCHA.'
Will explain the Fed's next move - $25.
"How do you get your children not to stick to the bottom of the cauldron?"
The Invisible Fence.
"Please hold my calls for the next fifteen minutes, Miss Hammish."
Tags:call, calls, calling, sacrifice, sacrifices, animal sacrifice, animal sacrifices, pagan, pagans, pagan ritual, pagan rituals, ritual, rituals, magic, magical, satanic, witch, witches, goat, goats, cult, cults, costume, costumes, businessman, businessmen, executive, executives, private office, private offices, manager, managers, management
"Who or what should I sacrifice to relieve simple nervous tension?"
Tags:sacrifice, sacrifices, sacrificing, human sacrifices, human sacrificing, tension, tensions, worry, worries, worrying, counterproductive, unproductive, superstition, superstitions, unhelpful, magic, magical, idol, idols, maya, mayan, aztec, aztecs, witch doctor, witch doctors, cure, cures, curing, fear, fears, fearful, anxiety, anxieties, anxious, anxiousness, tense, tension, tensions, doctor, doctors, psychology, psychologist, psychologists, psychiatrist, psychiatrists, psychiatry