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Aladdin's Less Magic Carpet Ride.
Tags:waste management, waste disposal, rubbish, rubbish tip, rubbish tips, bin-man, bin-men, bin, bins, aladdin, magic carpet, magic carpets, magical, magics, genie, genies, fairy story, fairy stories, fairy tale, fairy tales, flying, fly, flies, wish, wishes, wishing, the argyle sweater, argyle sweater
'Rubbing it no longer produces a genie. Now you need a username, password and an unreadable CAPTCHA.'
"How do you get your children not to stick to the bottom of the cauldron?"
'Oh great. Now the FDA is regulating safety coated caplets of eyes of newt.'
'Some birthday's you're the stick . . . some birthdays yu're the pinata.'
"Wait. Let me have one more try."
Tags:wizard, wizards, warlock, warlocks, magic, magics, magician, magicians, robe, robes, magic wand, wand, incantation, incantations, spell, spells, ritual, rituals, black magic, white magic, can, can opener, open, opening, wife, wives, husbands and wives, husband and wife, married, married life, marriage, married couple, one more try, one more, help, helping, helping hand
"Or was it: 'Bubble, bubble, TOIL and trouble?'"
Witch Employee of the Month
"I've thrown in some prescription drugs that don't interact well."
Tags:witch, witches, cauldron, cauldrons, spell, spells, incantations, incantation, potion, potions, magic potion, magic potions, poison, poisons, witches brew, witch's brew, magic, magics, sorcery, sorcerers, witches cauldron, witch's cauldron, witch cauldron, witch cauldron, prescription drugs, prescription drug, pharmaceutical, pharmaceuticals, pharmacist, pharmacists, drug interaction, drug interactions, side effects, side effect, medicine, medication, medicines, medications, drug warning, drug warnings, mixing drugs
'She's our future analyst.'
'This is my forth time through the line - she can't tell us apart.'
"We've done what we can. Now it's all in the hands of the accountants."
"Can you work a little magic with these figures? In fact, can you make them disappear?"
Tags:magician, magicians, financial wizard, financial wizards, magic, magics, cooking the books, account, accounts, accountant, accountants, accountancy, white collar crime, white collar crimes, cook the books, accounting department, accounting departments, bookkeeper, bookkeepers, bookkeeping, book keeper, book keepers
Twas 4 nights before Christmas and Santa's spirits aren't high. Unless hitched to his sleigh, his reindeer can't fly...
Old dogs don't learn new tricks.
"First I'll change gold into lead, then I'll do it backwards."
'That's a good trick. Can you make jobs reappear?'
'If you think that's something, wait 'till you see his card tricks.'
'You'd thin he'd do more with his mind control.'
'I can talk to animals.'
"On the plus side, all the ingredients are local."
"Keep your money-fix the water."