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US Post Office (Junk Mail Division).
"For the last time....incoming emails don't need to be stamped!!"
'We received this letter opener in the mail today, unfortunately we have no way of getting to it.'
'No flags and no love.'
The new post office contract slashes passenger tickets by 50%.
U.S. Post Office: "We just deal with letters and packages, sir - I have no idea why your e-mails are bouncing."
'Hey! You forgot the stamp!'
'Your package has to be in Kansas City by Friday? - Well, aren't YOU a needy fellow!'
'They recalled the Famous Lawyers in History series. People were spitting on the wrong side.'
U. S. POST OFFICE, 'You want to mail that package to Cleveland? - I'm not sure it can GET there from here.'
'New Post Office policy, Smith! Trading the customer up to higher priced stamps!'
'Another mirage! First the bin lorry, and now this.'
'C'mon, check the search engine for the post office addresses!'
'Do you hear they fired Jake? He was caught using e-mail.'
'Him? He handles the magazines with those perfume samples.'
Neither snow nor rain nor heat nor gloom of night stays the E-Mailman from the swift completion of his appointed rounds.
Postal Service Attacked By Budget Cuts
'I'm sorry ma'am, but this really is too big to mail. '
'You're as good as new...so I'll see you next week for your 1000 mile checkup.'
Cat entering 'Scratching Post Office'.
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