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'Here's your problem, you guys never chose a level.'
'No more mergers until I get this one cleaned up.'
'I can't work with computers, on account of my animal magnetism.'
Dean liked to pill this stunt whenever he had a new partner.
'My grandfather always used to say 'Son, if it ain't dysfunctional, don't attempt preemptive maintenance intervention on it.' Or something like that.'
'I hate the first day of school.'
Tags:plumber, plumbing, emergency plumber, emergency plumbers, plumber, emergency plumbing, superintendent, superintendents, building superintendent, building superintendents, super, supers, caretaker, caretakers, building manager, building managers, apartments, apartment, maintenance, maintenance man, furniture, furniture repair, confusion, confuse, confused, burst pipe, burst pipes, pipe, pipes, water, water leak, leaking water, repair, repairs, repair man, repair men, troubleshoot, troubleshooting, absurd, modern furniture, modern furniture design
"Let's not panic till we know whether it's coming in or going out."
Tags:panic, panics, panicking, flood, floods, flooding, tide, come in, comes in, coming in, go out, goes out, going out, maintenance, maintenance man, maintenance men, leak, leaks, leaky pipe, leaky pipes, freakout, freakouts, freak-out, freaking out, keep your cool, keeping your cool, janitor, janitors, clean up, cleans up, white collar, white collar worker, white collar workers
'You better take care of the bill quickly or there's going to be hell to pay.'
Tags:devil, devils, satan, hades, heat, heats, heater, heaters, heating, bill, bills, billing, billed, pay, pays, paying, paid, hell, hells, owe, owes, owing, owed, demon, demons, repairman, repairmen, maintenance man, maintenance men, maintain, maintains, maintaining, maintained, the flying mccoys, flying mccoys
"It's certainly high time you got around to fixing that lock, Straus!"
Tags:lock, locks, bathroom, bathrooms, bathroom stall, bathroom stalls, door lock, door locks, broken, busted, toilet, toilets, toilet cubicle, toilet cubicles, stall, stalls, repair, repairs, repairman, repairmen, delay, delays, delayed repairs, deferred maintenance, fix, fixes, fixing, wait, waits, long wait, long waits, neglect, neglected, janitor, janitors, maintenance man, maintenance men, building maintenance
"Look, lady, we're not bad people - we're just really lousy at what we do."
'Please report any drips to maintenance immediately.'
"Go back! The place is full of mold!"
Tags:battle, historical, historically, feudal, feudalism, peasant, peasants, soldier, soldiers, medieval, warrior, warriors, siege, sieged, sieges, siege ladder, ladder, ladders, mold, molds, moldy, mould, moulds, mouldy, retreat, retreats, retreating, care, home, new home, clean, cleaning, cleanliness, cleaning service, cleaning services, maintenance, maintenance man, war, wars, excuse, excuses, sick, ill, sickness, get well soon
"The plumber says to put a pan under the place that leaks."
Tags:leak, leaks, plumber, plumbing, flood, flooding, leaky, service, service, maintenance, home, homes, home ownership, house, houses, diy, maintenance men, maintenance man, fix, fixing, fixed, fixes, furniture, interior, interiors, visual gag, visual joke, underwhelm, underwhelming, ignorance, ignorant, missing, missing the point, underestimating, underestimate, butler, butlers
'Tell me...what IS in the pipeline?'
'Good, lots of waxy buildup.'
'I don't have time to explain. Just call the super and tell him the elevator's stuck.'
"Extreme Leaf Blowing"
Tags:leaf blower, leaf blowers, landscaping, landscaper, landscapers, lawn maintenance, maintenance, maintenance man, maintenance men, lawn service, groundskeeper, groundskeepers, leaf, leaves, destruction, destroy, destroying, funnel, funnels, funnel cloud, funnel clouds, tornado, tornadoes, weather, bad weather, storm, storms, stormy, windy, wind, windstorm, windstorms, extreme, neighbourhood, neighborhood, fall, autumn, noisy, annoying, loud
'How do you propose to repair the roof from down there?!'
"We can't tell yet if it's a malfunction or a dysfunction."
'This must be the place!'
'It's $50 for fixing the sink, and $300 for babysitting your husband.'
"She's got what we call a sock on the antenna! Afraid I'll have to take her down to the shop!"
Tags:repair, repairs, repairman, repairmen, overcharge, overcharges, overcharging, tv antenna, aerial, aerial signal, aerial signals, rabbit ears, antennas, dramatic, overly dramatic, charge, charges, extra charge, extra charges, maintenance, maintenance man, maintenance men, scam, scams, scam artist, scam artists, cost, costs, fee, fees
Burnt Out and Eureka Moments.