Search by Search ID or Tag or use the Advanced Search
"It's right here… Nov. 29th, 1981, at Elaine's… twelve percent."
Tags:death, dead, died, heavens gates, gates of heaven, pearly gates, st peter, st. peter, saint peter, judgement, final judgement, lifes ledger, good deeds, bad deeds, sins, tip, tips, tipping, bad tipper, bad tippers, bad tip, bad tips, stingy tipper, twelve percent, 12%, restaurant, restaurants, host, hosts, maitre d
"I didn't want to embarrass them by telling them I don't work here, so I told them it was a three-hour wait for a table instead."
"What, exactly, did you say to the maître d'?"
Tags:eating out, dining out, restaurant, waiter, waiters, waitstaff, waiting staff, maitre d, maitre d', insult, insults, insulted, mistake, mistakes, bad table, bad tables, changing table, changing tables, punishments, revenge, getting revenge, hospitality, hospitality industry, bad customer, bad customers, bad service
"I'm afraid we're booked solid through the holidays, but if you'll give me your address I will send you an application for the second week in January."
"I beg your pardon, but a mustache is required in the dining room. Would you like us to provide you with one?"
"Non-smoking, pro-choice, beginning to question our military presence in the Persian Gulf, and not too near the kitchen, please."
"E-cigarette or non e-cigarette section."
"Armed or unarmed?"
"The maître d' here is a master at economic profiling.",
Tags:maître d', maitre d, expensive restaurant, expensive restaurants, fancy restaurant, fancy restaurants, waiting staff, waitstaff, waiter, waiters, tip, tips, economic profiling, economic profiler, economic profilers, preferential treatment, eating out, dining out, tip, tips, service charge, service charges, gratuity, gratuities
'I'm sorry sir, but I'm afraid that's inappropriate.'
'Which of your even-numbered wines do you recommend?'
'Must be your first day--the smiley face goes on the check.'
"I know you've been waiting a long time, but the Pearls were here before you."
Tags:pig, pigs, swine, peal, pearls, pearls before swine, expression, expressions, idiom, idioms, saying, sayings, restaurant, maitre d, waiter, waiters, head waiter, head waters, wait, waits, waiting, long wait, long waits, delay, delays, delayed, haute cuisine, irritation, irritations, snob, snobs, snobbery, reservation, reservations, reserve, reserves, reserved
"Are you the Maitres d'? Can you recommend a species?"
'Jingling your change won't get us a better table.'
"We'll have whatever they are at the next table."
Tags:restaurant, food, today’s special, wolf, prey, fine dining, hunt, hunter, alligator, lion, lioness, gazelle, menu, surf and turf, diner, dining room, waiter, waitress, choice, main course, date, dinner date, carnivore, meat, meat eater, kill, game, big game hunter, maître d, predator, dinner, dine, safari, nature
'Do you have a reservation?'
'Smoking or non-smoking?'
'Has anyone ever told you that you have really bad broth?'
Diners see restaurant signs; Grade A meals and Meals Without Comments.
'Psst! It's the invisible man. Try not to state at his new hair piece.'
'Tonight's menu is bound in Moroccan leather, with a touch of Flemish calligraphy on hand made paper.'
Waiter' You betta stop that food fight, you SILLY fools! Here comes the Maitre D' !'
Devil as maitre d'.
'The tourist at table 6 insists on a bottle of 'coq au vin'--and the customer's always right.'