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"I know doesn't look like I'm doing anything, but I'm like a cat ready to pounce."
Tags:lazy, laziness, shirk, shirking, shirker, shirkers, slacking, slacker, slackers, prepared, preparedness, ready, wait, waiting, employee, employees, bad employee, bad employees, excuse, excuses, offices, office job, office jobs, making excuses, office worker, office workers, bad excuse, bad excuses
"No cause for alarm, folks. I'm Morey Kranshaw, from down the block, and I'm having an out-of-body experience."
Tags:neighbour, neighbours, neighbor, neighbors, bad neighbour, bad neighbours, bad neighbor, bad neighbors, intrude, intruding, intrusion, intrusions, surprise, surprises, unexpected, out of body experience, out of body experiences, sleepwalk, sleepwalking, sleepwalker, sleepwalkers, sleep walk, sleep walking, sleep walker, sleep walkers, astral projection, astral projections, excuse, excuses, making excuses, obe, obes, autoscopy, autoscopies, doppelganger, doppelgangerd, pass the blame, passing the blame, pass the buck, passing the buck
"It came with the house."
"I'm a great believer in keeping a clean desk, chief."
"Folsom's seasick, sir."
Tags:navy, the navy, in the navy, drill, drills, military drill, military drills, seasick, seasickness, excuse, excuses, making excuses, poor excuse, bad excuse, bad excuses, sickie, sickies, sick day, sick days, bad liar, bad liars, inspection, inspections, military inspection, military inspections, sailor, sailors
"If it weren't for you, I would have conquered the world by now."
"Sorry, you're overqualified."
Tags:snail, snails, rejection, rejections, job application, job applications, job interview, job interviews, overqualified, over qualification, over-qualification, overqualification, offices, office job, office jobs, office work, office worker, office workers, desk job, desk jobs, excuse, excuses, making excuses, mollusc, molluscs, snail drawing, snail drawings
"For someone who believes in personal responsibility, you spend a lot of time blaming government."
Tags:thanks obama, government, politics, political, blame, blame game, blaming, excuses, excuse, making excuses, personal responsibility, called out, calling his bluff, bluff, bluffing, scapegoat, republicans, libertarians, democrats, independents, party, parties, social, socialize, socialise, gathering, get together
"I'm only doing this because begging and borrowing haven't worked for me."
Tags:beg borrow steal, begging borrowing stealing, robber, robbers, robbing, burglar, burglars, burglary, crime, crimes, criminal, criminals, stealing, thief, thieves, mugger, muggers, mugging, threat, threats, threaten, threatening, threatened, held at gunpoint, excuse, excuses, making excuses, no excuse, bad excuse, bad excuses
"Do you mean am I busy busy?"
Tags:doodle, doodling, time wasting, time waster, time wasters, waste of time, busy, busyness, modern life, modern times, modern attitudes, lie, lying, liar, liars, excuse, excuses, making excuses, procrastinate, procrastinating, procrastination, procrastinator, procrastinators, drawing in condensation, condensation
"I ran out of ice."
Tags:shaved ice, ice shave, hawaiian shaved ice, street food, street vendor, street vendors, food cart, food carts, food stand, food stands, mice, mouse, run out of ice, running out of ice, caterer, caterers, catering, excuse, excuses, making excuses, incompetent, incompetence, last minute, catering and hospitality, catering industry
"I'm too busy going to college to study."
"You can't judge my parenting skills by what you see in the lobby."
Tags:parent, parents, parenting, parenthood, growing up, child rearing, kid, kids, child, young kids, young children, toddler, toddlers, infant, infants, terrible twos, terrible 2s, parenting skills, tantrum, tantrums, immature, immaturity, lobby, lobbies, excuse, excuses, making excuses, bad excuse, bad excuses
'I'm not a feminist, but...'
"Sorry I'm late, Chief - I had some trouble with my nipple ring."
"I was going to chuck it all and go to Paris but I didn't have enough frequent-flier miles."
Tags:frequent flier, frequent fliers, frequent flier miles, frequent-flier miles, excuse, excuses, making excuses, bad excuse, bad excuses, failed writer, failed writers, sob story, sob stories, bad writer, bad writers, giving up, give up, show off, show offs, show-off, show-offs, showing off, flirt, flirts, flirting, bad date, bad dates, paris
"Remember when people had only themselves to blame."
Tags:rich people, rich person, the one percent, the 1 percent, wealth, wealthy, privileges, privilege, privileged, male pale stale, white trash, wealth gap, wealth divide, poverty gap, upbringing, upbringings, up-bringing, bad upbringing, bad upbringings, culpable, culpability, responsible, responsibility, blame, pass the blame, passing the blame, pass the buck, passing the buck, excuse, excuses, making excuses
"First, find someone to blame."
Tags:old man on the mountain, wise man on the mountain, wise man, wise men, old man, old men, wisemen, wiseman, sage, sages, wise, guru, gurus, climber, climbers, mountain, mountains, climbing, blame, blame game, excuse, excuses, making excuses, alibi, alibis, scapegoat, scapegoats, advice, life lesson, life lessons
"Oh, that wasn't me talking. It was the alcohol talking."
Stan Mack's Real Life Funnies: Family Ties
Tags:college, pot smoker, pot smokers, pot smoking, marijuana, joint, joints, smoke a joint, smoking a joint, drug, drug use, college kid, college kids, home from college, excuse, excuses, stall, stalls, stalling, mother, mothers, parent, parents, parenting, fib, fibs, fibbing, lie, lies, lying, liar, liars, make an excuse, making an excuse, making excuses, drug abuse, drug abuser, drug abusers, family ties, habit, habits, bad habit, bad habits
"If I've accomplished little, it's because I have giants standing on my shoulders."
Tags:standing on the shoulders of giants, expression, expressions, saying, sayings, idiom, idioms, excuse, excuses, making excuses, bad excuse, bad excuses, life choices, career choices, accomplishments, achievement, achievements, accomplishment, failure, failures, failing, let down, let downs, let-down, let-downs
"I we meet in the woods and anything happens, remember it's just hunting."
"It's not a nap if I'm sitting at my desk."
"Remember how I said my dog ate it and you said that was no excuse?"
Tags:teacher, teachers, teaching, student, students, pupil, pupils, homework, the dog ate my homework, dog, dogs, dog poo, dog poos, dog poop, dog excrement, pet, pets, pet dog, pet dogs, pet owner, pet owners, dog owner, dog owners, excuse, excuses, making excuses, justify, justification, justifications, justified, proof, prove, proving, giving proof, kid, kids, child, childhood
"What about the redemptive power of my art?"
Tags:pearly gate, pearly gates, the pearly gates, gateway to heaven, the gateway to heaven, st peter, st. peter, artist, artists, redemption, redemptive power, painter, painters, excuse, excuses, making excuses, reject, rejects, rejected, rejection, redeem, redeemed, afterlife, the afterlife, damage limitation