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Single malt whisky bottle reading lonely hearts column.
'Don't get your hopes up. In private practice, malt whisky and havana cigars mean you're terminal.'
'If it's as good as they claim how is it you take so long to sell it?'
This whisky is 20 years old!
'Who cares about the porridge! Thank God she didn't find my single malts!'
'This is a ten year old whisky.' 'I suppose you were too stingey to buy a new one.'