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'My policy is to stay in close contact with my employees . . . figuratively speaking.'
Boss: 'Speak up Smythe, I know you've got an opinion, I told you what it was in my email this morning!'
'Getting here on time every morning, and never have a day off sick, just isn't good enough Moulding! How are you ever going to get through all the stuff I keep piling on top of you if you don't work through your lunch-break as well?'
'Right we need an urgent response to our productivity problems...'
'He's worried that the 20% that changes is the only 20% he knows!'
'John this is where you should declare your undying love and tell Miriam she's the wind beneath your wings...'
'We're looking for managers that demonstrate high levels of emotional intelligence. Here, please try on this mood ring.'
'Who vetted that leader?'
'Why me...why me have I suffered enough? Can't I just be left alone!'
'Ok team.. let#s review: When the arrow goes down it mean...'
'Who says we vote ourselves a huge pay rise, then spend the rest of the AGM practicing our humble expressions?'
"My God, J.B., what do I tell the staff?"
'Make sure that those 'Ideas whose time has come', get launched today.'
"I'm back. Move."
Tags:alfred jaretzki, management, managements, exec, execs, executive, executives, corporate culture, corporate environment, businessmen, businessman, entrepreneur, entrepreneurs, dog, dogs, canine, canines, pet, pets, pet dog, pet dogs, dog owner, dog owners, boss, bosses, manager, managers, replacement, replacements
"Cosgrove, why don't you tell us what you did on your summer vacation while your department fell into disarray and your projections proved to be woefully inaccurate."
Tags:business model, business models, business plan, business plans, summer, vacation, vacations, holiday, holidays, travel plans, business projection, business projections, business forecast, business forecasts, businessmen, businessman, corporate culture, manager, managers, management, managements, bad manager, bad managers, financial projection, financial projections, performance review, performance reviews, appraisal, appraisals, job review, job reviews
'Not everyone is able to cope with change.'
'And that's the boss. Nice enough guy, but wood from the neck up, if you know what I mean!'
'He's not finished his 'communicating with empathy' training.'
'I think he needs to work a little more on giving feedback.'
'We had a group think about implementing paradigm shifting re-prioritisations of our inward facing media strategy in order to enhance our communication with the average man on the street.'
'As an unpaid intern, Peabody, I think you're the ideal person to explain to the workforce why it is necessary for me to cut their pay in these difficult times for business.'
'We've worked out an answer...what was the question?'
'Find out what he's up to.'
'When we talked about changing the firms image I was thinking more about a new letterhead.'
'My door is always open. . . Just don't come in.'