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"If I have to ask permission for every bite, dearest, we'll be mating all day."
Tags:relationship, relationships, consent, consenting consents, feminism, feminists, feminist, #metoo, metoo, me too, mantis, praying mantis, praying mantises, mantises, mate, mates, consensual, permission, reproduction, insect, insects, animal, animals, decapitate, relationship, relationships, death, dying, died
"Whoa! Wrong bar?"
Tags:praying mantis, praying mantises, mantis, mantises, drinking hole, drinking holes, drinker, drinkers, bar, bars, pub, pubs, insect, insects, bug, bugs, wildlife, drinking companion, drinking companions, drinking buddy, drinking buddies, discrimination, prejudice, rough crowd, rough crowds, bar brawl, bar brawls, bar fight, bar fights
"Mmm, this casserole is lovely, Marge! Which ex-husbands did you make it from, anyway?"
"If you don't mind, before I eat you, I'd like to say prayer for world peace."
"You mean Dad's not really in the Peace Corps?"
Tags:mantis, mantises, praying mantis, praying mantises, mom, moms, dad, dads, child, children, peace corps, lie, lies, lying, liar, guilt, guilty, guilty conscience, guilty conscience, reproduction, reproduces, reproducing, eat, eats, eating, head, decapitation, decapitating, headless, murder, commit murder, committing murder, committed murder, white lie, white lies, parent, parents, parenting, bad parenting, entomology, entomologist, entomologists, breed, breeds, breeding
"Looks like someone got lucky."
Tags:ideal man, ideal men, ideal, ideals, perfect, perfection, perfect man, perfect men, praying mantis, praying mantises, mantis, mantises, insect, insects, mate, mates, kill, kills, killing, killer, killers, murder, murders, murderer, murderers, man-eater, man-eaters, man-eating, eat, eats, eating, chew, chews, chewing, animal kingdom
The real reason the female mantis devours the male.
'Haven't they been answered yet?'
"He's handsome. I wonder how he tastes?"
Tags:praying mantis, mantis, praying mantises, mantises, bugs, bug, insects, insect, entomologists, entomology, entomologist, online dating, dating site, dating sites, date, dates, computer dating, internet dating, internet dating site, internet dating sites, blind date, blind dates, single life, anticipation, anticipates, anticipating, first date, first dates, getting to know you
"They only started protecting us after we adding 'praying' to our name."
"Okay, don't bite my head off."
Tags:mantis, mantises, praying mantis, praying mantises, mate, mates, mated, bite, bites, biting, head off, don't bite my head off, biting my head off, bites my head off, household chore, household chores, trash duty, trash duties, garbage duty, division of labor, divisions of labor, divisions of labour, divisions of labour, gender difference, gender differences
"My fellow mantises...I can barely believe this, but it has come to my attention that there is a lack of prayer in this church!"
'I thought the boss was going to bite my head off for losing the mantis account, but she was more interested in dating me.'
"Do we have to have sex, can't we just cuddle?"
Tags:pray, prays, praying mantis, praying mantises, mantis, mantises, kill, kills, killer, killers, mate, mates, male, love bite, love bites, headless, cuddles, cuddling, snuggle, snuggles, snuggling, preference, preferences, cuddle, relationship, nature, survival, survival of the fittest, laws of nature
'... 'Mow the lawn, Sid or I'll devour you,' she says. 'Do this, or I'll devour you. Do that or I'll devour you'... That's why I play golf, Ernie...'
'... and the kids are screaming and the house is a disaster, and my husband finally get gets home and says 'how was your day?'... so I bit his head off.'
'OK, FINE...we'll invite your sister. You don't have to bite my head off.'
"...It's a cross between a beetle and a praying mantis. It says grace before eating your crops."
Tags:beetle, beetles, pest, pests, praying mantis, praying mantises, mantis, mantises, grace, saying grace, prayer, prayers, praying, mad scientist, mad scientists, crossbreed, crossbreeds, cross-breed, cross-breeds, crossbreeding, cross-breeding, scientist, scientists, gmo, gmos, agricultural pest, agricultural pests, pest, pests, harvest, harvests, crop, crops
"Hey, I thought you two weren't getting serious!"
'My Mama tried to eat me but I didn't taste good enough. Where was my Daddy?'
"We don't celebrate Father's Day at my house, in fact, I've never met my dad..."
'I'm not saying I don't want children, I'm just saying maybe we should at least consider adoption...'
"Sorry sir, but I can't see your upcoming marriage ending well..."
'I'm very old and alone now: Sometimes, I think I should have left one of my husbands alive...'