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"...and are you, Jessica, committed to this bit?"
"Buzz off! That was only till death us did part."
"I agreed to 'for better' and 'for worse,' but never to 'for mysterious' and 'withholding'."
Why lawyers should never try to write their own vows.
'And do you, Irene, promise to give it your best shot?'
"As long as we've decided to renew our vows. I've come up with a 'Renew-nup'."
"OK, so this is the part of 'till death do us part' where we, uh, you know, part!"
'And we've now come to the moment when you both will exchange your vowels.'
'What you say to me in our vows is very important to me so I wrote them for you.'
'Mom, dad - this is the guy I want to spend my life with until the butcher will separate us.'
'Love, honor and cherish? You drive a hard bargain.'
'Forget 'forsaking all others', you can have the week off' (housewife to husband).
'-and stop saying 'who's carrying who over the threshold?''
"And remember, when the fun stops, stop."
" ... and based on the most recent data available, do you take this man ... "
"Oh, Gerald, you were only my soulmate when we were alive."