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'There you are, sir - Would you also like to purchase a maintenance agreement?'
"I disagree with your lifestyle, therefore on God's authority I'm denying your license."
Danger: Marriage License Bureau
'We're such good friends, we'd like to tie the knot. Any laws concerning opposite-sex gay couples?'
'Do you still have your receipt?'
'And this is Mr. Ferguson - He's from the Federal Department of Wedding Compliance.'
Cher & Tarzan apply for marriage license: 'Last name?'
'Marriage licenses are $10. and up. Do remember that you get what you pay for.'
'If you must know, I'm looking for a loophole...!'
'What do you mean, you failed the written exam?!'
'It's a Surgeon-General's warning.'
'To qualify for a license, you must pass the marriage test. We put you in a room with your prospective mother-in-law for 24 hours.'
'You must know that divorce isn't that easy, Fred?'
'What's amusing you?. My marriage licence has expired.'
'My parents are renewing their wedding vows. . . my mom just notices that my dad had penciled in an expiration date on the marriage license.'
"Our marriage license....expired three years ago!"
"They said marriage licenses are in room 11."