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'There you are, sir - Would you also like to purchase a maintenance agreement?'
"I disagree with your lifestyle, therefore on God's authority I'm denying your license."
'What do you mean, our marriage license has expired?'
'We think it's only fitting that second marriage licenses be printed on recycled paper.'
Danger: Marriage License Bureau
"The bad news is, you've been charged with assault with a deadly weapon. The good news is, your victim has obtained a marriage license."
'We're such good friends, we'd like to tie the knot. Any laws concerning opposite-sex gay couples?'
Next on the court's docket: 'The Defense of marriage. . .'
'Do you still have your receipt?'
'And this is Mr. Ferguson - He's from the Federal Department of Wedding Compliance.'
Cher & Tarzan apply for marriage license: 'Last name?'
'Marriage licenses are $10. and up. Do remember that you get what you pay for.'
'If you must know, I'm looking for a loophole...!'
'What do you mean, you failed the written exam?!'
"No, dear, what we have is a 'samey sex' marriage."
'It's a Surgeon-General's warning.'
'To qualify for a license, you must pass the marriage test. We put you in a room with your prospective mother-in-law for 24 hours.'
'You must know that divorce isn't that easy, Fred?'
'Look after the licence - you can't get divorced without it...'
'My parents are renewing their wedding vows. . . my mom just notices that my dad had penciled in an expiration date on the marriage license.'
'How much is that yuppy in the window?'
Marriage license: 'What's the expiration date?'
'Watch your step -- She keeps an undated marriage license in her purse.'
'I'm here to request your daughter's hand in marriage, sir, and ten bucks for the marriage license.'
'Wouldn't it be great if after three violations they took away your marriage license?'