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'There you are, sir - Would you also like to purchase a maintenance agreement?'
"I disagree with your lifestyle, therefore on God's authority I'm denying your license."
'What do you mean, our marriage license has expired?'
'We think it's only fitting that second marriage licenses be printed on recycled paper.'
Danger: Marriage License Bureau
'We're such good friends, we'd like to tie the knot. Any laws concerning opposite-sex gay couples?'
'Do you still have your receipt?'
'And this is Mr. Ferguson - He's from the Federal Department of Wedding Compliance.'
Cher & Tarzan apply for marriage license: 'Last name?'
'Marriage licenses are $10. and up. Do remember that you get what you pay for.'
'If you must know, I'm looking for a loophole...!'
'It's a Surgeon-General's warning.'
'What do you mean, you failed the written exam?!'
"No, dear, what we have is a 'samey sex' marriage."
'To qualify for a license, you must pass the marriage test. We put you in a room with your prospective mother-in-law for 24 hours.'
'You must know that divorce isn't that easy, Fred?'
'My parents are renewing their wedding vows. . . my mom just notices that my dad had penciled in an expiration date on the marriage license.'
'How much is that yuppy in the window?'
Marriage license: 'What's the expiration date?'
'Watch your step -- She keeps an undated marriage license in her purse.'
'I'll do my best, but marriage licenses almost never have loopholes.'
'-but I keep telling you-these things take time...'
"They said marriage licenses are in room 11."