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"Look, all I'm asking is that we let market forces bring a greater degree of efficiency into our marriage."
"I'd like to say something to you, Miriam - strictly off the record, of course."
"Edward and I have had a very good year but I'm looking for a major correction in our marriage during the next quarter."
'Harold was a lot more attentive when our relationship was on the line.'
'Got to go, it's my wife. I think she's on to us.'
'She won't even go out with me. How can I get her to marry me?'
'I had my accounting department run a cost-benefit analysis on you and I have some bad news.'
'We would have a lot more to spend if you didn't waste so much on tax.'
'Sorry, dear, did you say something?'
'We're past the 'romantic' phase and into the 'living hell' phase.'
'My husband was sensitive, caring and understanding. It drove me nuts!'
Opinion Dislodgement Disorder (ODD).
Grounds for divorce.
- 'Roger, I want a divorce' - 'It's that bulging crotchet in bar 5, isn't it?'
'Share your innermost feelings or the remote gets it.'
The unknown nagged male.
Couple in front of computer. Screen reads 'Internet shopping with husband'. Husband is huffing, puffing and sighing.
'I'm cutting carbs - all 243 pounds of him. The divorce is final tuesday.'
'Come on, you can make it work! You're supposed to be Lovebirds after all...'
'Let me guess - your barmaid doesn't understand you either!'
'I know what you mean. John and I were just discussing the rocky course of love...'
'My God, Brad... You really don't like them, right?'
'Things must be pretty tough on poor Marge since Frank left.'