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"My computer is saying, 'You, you, you!'"
"I was hoping for someone with poor eyesight and no imagination."
"The dating agency said you wanted someone who could make you laugh!"
"Well Mom, thanks for setting us up, getting me to the restaurant on time, and getting the conversation started, but I think I can take it from here."
"Healthy, wealthy and wise, for starters ... "
"The last one was clearly incompatible - she didn't think a shelled walnut resembled a human brain."
"This might suit you. Somebody wants to meet a young man with an arresting personality."
"I already asked them - They don't take trade-ins."
Man hiding from a woman at a dating service.
'I don't care how many arrows you use. It's not going to work with this guy. So beat it, you little brat.'
"I'm looking for a nymphomaniac who likes cooking and earns £250,000."
"Yes, I know internet dates often lie about their age, but they usually take years OFF!"
"There must be someone. The last date I had was on the end of a plastic twig!"
"Guess who the computer came up with for you, sweetheart."
"Blue eyed blonde...let me check the files."