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New Mothers and Priorities
Tags:newborn, newborns, baby, babies, parenthood, parenting, family life, family-life, new parent, new parents, nap, naps, besotted, mom, moms, mum, mums, mother, mothers, motherhood, family time, cuddle, cuddles, mummy, mummies, housework, household chore, household chores, chore, chores, overwhelmed, unconditional love, new parents, maternity leave
'I know the ad said 'temporary,' but when did you say you had your last contraction?'
"Guess what? I'm taking an eternity leave."
'I think you're getting to big for this job.'
'Good to see you back at work.'
"I'm afraid we've had to cut back on maternity leave but we can delegate someone to 'Oooh' and 'Aaah' when the baby's born!"
"Personnel can't fund maternity cover,but they will second someone to come around and coo oooh! aah! when the baby's born..."
'Excellent application, lots of relevant experience and stellar qualifications, but I'm afraid your womb lets you down!'
"I need time off to go back to college and party. Fraternity leave"
'We are not a sexist employer, so we ask all employees exactly the same questions. Now, 'what happens if you become pregnant?''
'You can't agree on who gets maternity or paternity leave...'
"Maternity leave, again!"
'Let me get this clear. You want me to give you paternity leave before the baby is born.'
"Frankly, McCurdy, it is very discouraging to hear that Mrs. McCurdy has had another baby."
'These figures on parental leave are truly shocking...'
"When did we start serving root beer?"
"Since he was born today he won't begin daycare until tomorrow."
'The ultrasound looks fine, but I really don't think you should count your chickens before they've hatched...'
Illegal job interview questions.
'It's easy for you to climb the corporate ladder, you just lay your eggs and leave: No need for Maternity Leave!'
'How soon can I return to work? About fifteen minutes ago.'
'I name this child 'Blumming Nuisance'.'
'I need time off to go back to college and party. Fraternity leave.'
"Nice and simple. The way a family leave policy should be."