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The Princess And The Watermelon
Tags:princess and the pea, the princess and the pea, fairy tale, fairy tales, fairytale, fairy tales, fairy story, fairy stories, watermelon, watermelons, princess, princesses, mattress, mattresses, insomnia, insomniac, restless night, sleepless night, restless nights, restless nights, discomfort, uncomfortable, ache, aching, annoying, annoyance, sore, soreness, hans christian andersen
'With these crazy markets, you have to diversify to protect your money. Put some under your mattress, some in your sock drawer, maybe some in a hole in the yard...'
"O.K., toss and turn and sigh so loud that I have to wake up and ask what's wrong."
Tags:mattress, mattresses, shopping for mattresses, mattress shopping, mattress shop, mattress store, mattress stores, relationship, relationships, long-term relationships, passive agressive, passive agression, passive aggressive arguments, argument, argue, arguing, marital dispute, marital disputes
"I'm moving mattresses and box springs. I'd like to borrow your man."
"I have to say, sleeping in a coffin is way better since I got the box spring."
Tags:athlete, athletes, athletics, pole vault, pole vaults, pole vaulting, pole vaulted, pole vaulter, pole vaulters, mattress, mattresses, fall, falls, falling, fell, hard landing, hard landings, health and safety, shock, shocks, shocking, shocked, jump, jumps, jumping, jumped, jumper, in the bleachers, bleachers, in the bleachers
'OK, I'm sorry I didn't think it through... are you happy now?'
Tags:pole vault, pole vaults, pole vaulting, pole vaulter, pole vaulters, pole vaulted, mat, mats, mattress, mattresses, health and safety, safety, fall, falls, falling, fell, cushion, cushions, cushioned, soft, soften, softens, softening, land, lands, landing, accident prevention, in the bleachers, bleachers, in the bleachers
'Thank you for calling the Zepco mattresses hotline...'
David Blaine, Age 60
Tags:david blaine, magic, magician, magicians, magical, illusion, illusions, endurance, enduring, endure, cot, old age, growing, old, aging, aged, guest, guests, uncomfortable, uncomfy, painful, pain, pains, irritate, irritating, guest cot, staying over, entertain, boring, unimpressive, unimpressed, stunt, stunts, ice block, ice blocks, endurance, endurance test, endurance tests, mattress, mattresses, lump, lumps, lumpy
"We can't agree on a size."
"Right now I think the wisest strategy is to diversify among your mattresses."
Tags:economy, money, diversify, mattress, recession, hide money, hides money, hiding money, mattresses, economic recession, economic recessions, recession, recessions, market crash, market crashes, strategy, strategies, strategize, strategizes, investor, investors, investment advice, financial adviser, financial advisers, financial advisor, financial advisors, mankoff
"It remembers how I sleep each night.''
'Sorry, coach. We thought everyone had vaulted.'
Tags:health and safety, pole vault, pole vaults, pole vaulting, pole vaulted, pole vaulter, pole vaulters, mattress, mattresses, crash mattress, crash mattresses, fall, falls, falling, fell, apology, apologise, apologises, apologised, injure, injures, injury, injuries, injured, in the bleachers, bleachers, in the bleachers
"As I recall, you're the one who insisted on a conquistador-size mattress."
Tags:relationship, relationships, relationship issues, relationship problems, marriage, marriages, married life, couple, couples, husband, husbands, wife, wives argument, arguments, arguing, fight, fights, fighting, furniture, bed, beds, king-sized, queen sized, large bed, conquistador, conquistadors, mattress, mattresses, insist, insisted, interior design, furniture choices, consumerism, decision, decisions, choice, choices, recall, remember, bedroom scene, bedroom scenes
Introducing the Tofuton
'I can't save your husband, but I can save you 20%!'
The princess and the pea.
"Uh, sir...madam...the sign just meant for customers to sit or lay on the mattress to see how comfortable...oh my!"
Tags:mattress, mattresses, mattress salesman, mattress salesmen, demo, demos, demonstration, demonstrations, try, try before you buy, test, tests, testing, mattress test, mattress tests, mattress testing, comfort, comfortable, tryst, trysts, public display, public displays, public display of affection, public displays of affection, pda, pdas, bed, beds, showroom, showrooms, show room, show rooms
'How much money does it hold?'
'It's come to my attention that you haven't been sleeping on the job.'
'Today a ray of hope . . .'
'Why don't you put your money in the Bank, instead of stuffing it under the mattress?'
'In today's economy, it's important to put some of your money under you mattress and bury some in backyard...'