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Hecklers On Poetry Night
Tags:writer, writers, novel, novella, novels, novel writing, poem, poet, poetry, poets, poetic, literature, literary, word play, play on words, ironic, irony, author, authors, authored, book, books, book lover, writing, should be writing, you should be writing, manuscript, artistic, artist, artists, art, arts, heckle, heckler, hecklers, heckling, nastiness, mean, meanness, metaphor, metaphors, term, terms, terminology, metre
"Tell them to go to hell, but in a nice way."
How to deal with rude customers.
"My composition is called 'Mrs. Torrence Is a Big Fat Idiot.' "
Tags:teaching, teacher, teachers, public, public school, public schools, new teacher, new teachers, mean, meanness, nastiness, kid, kids, child, childhood, mean kid, mean kids, rush limbaugh, limbaugh, composition, school, schools, schooling, surprise, inflammatory, hack, paper, papers, homework, assignment, assignments, hack journalism, baseless, politics, political, politician, politicians, book, books, bookish, book worm, book lover, book lovers
"You really just want to watch me punch myself in the face three times?"
Tags:genie, genies, wish, wishes, wishing, happy, happiness, content, contented, smug, smugly, smugness, punch, punches, punching, sadism, suit, suits, sleazy, sleaze, mean, meanness, nastiness, hurt, hurting, waste, wasted, wastes, satisfaction, satisfied, power, powerful, lamp, lamps, smug, smugness
'The mean age of our visitor is 50. It seems like when they turn 50 they get mean.'
"Ah, the return of the Incredible Hulk."
Tags:welcome, welcome home, welcoming, welcoming home, rude, rudeness, nastiness, mean, meanness, fishwives, fishwife, wife, wives, unhappy, husband, husbands, suitcase, suitcases, walk out, walk-out, married life, marriage, married, married couple, couple, couples, argue, argument, anger, angry, bully, bullying, bullied, patronise, patronize, patronised, patronized
"I was wondering, hon—how soon before the hazing period of our marriage comes to an end?"
Tags:marriage, bad marriage, married, married life, married couple, couple, couples, toxic, toxic relationship, hazing, haze, hazed, dinner, mean, meanness, murphy's law, taking advantage, wife, wives, imprison, imprisoned, brainwashing, prove, proved, proving, brainwashed, honeymoon period, spoof, spoofs, spoofed, slapstick, slap stick
Woman Browses Section Labeled "Guiltmaking"
Tags:woman, women, crone, old crone, old hag, hag, old bag, guilt, guilt trip, guilt-trip, guilt tripped, guilt tripping, guilt-tripping, psychological, psychology, psychological warfare, greeting, greetings card, greeting cards, greetings cards, greetings, card, cards, celebration, spinster, spinsters, rude, rudely, rudeness, mean, meanness, nastily, nastiness, old lady, little old lady, old, older, elderly, misogyny, misogynistic, stereotype, stereotyping, stereotypes
"Talking to your own reflection? Even your imagination is pathetic."
Tags:mental health, anxiety, anxious, sad, sadness, reflection, reflect, reflecting, psychology, psychological, pathetic, imaginary, imagination, imaginations, narcissus, reference, referential, mean, meanness, nastiness, talking, talk, talks, self worth, low self worth, self-worth, self deprecating, self-deprecating, deprecating, effacing, self effacing, self-effacing, low self-worth, pond, ponds, park, modern life, modern world, mental, mind, personal, personal health, self worth, self-worth, worth
'This next request goes out to the big spender who would like to hear 25 cents worth of 'Louie Louie'.'
'Would you care to join my brothers and me at our table? There are five mugs of beer to a pitcher, and five chicken wings to a basket, so it shouldn't cost you a lot of dough for a shot at meeting Mr. Right.'
'I've no time for the ice buck nonsense. I'll just continue donating to charity in my own quiet way.'
'Regardless of what your wife thinks, there isn't a mean bone in your body, and I have the X-rays to prove it.'
Gorgonzola!!! The meanest of all cheeses!
'I saw this and thought of you. It's cheap and it's useless!'
The Vindictive Carrot: 'Hello Mr Turnip that soups you!!!'
How many Scotsman does it take to change a lightbulb?
'Robert's not a people person. He 'Friends' people on Facebook just so he can 'Unfriend' them the next day.'
"If you can't take it with you, this must be Hell."
Tags:heaven, pearly, gates, god, st peter, saint peter, afterlife, afterlives, hell, bank, banker, businessman, rich, money, wealth, wealthy, affluent, plunder, greed, greedy, acquisitiveness, rapacity, mean, meanness, miser, miserliness, money-grubbing, mammon, paradise, nirvana, hades, perdition, damn, damnation, wickedness, wrongdoing, wrong, evil, immorality, vice, evil, judge, judgement, retribution, penalty, just deserts
'Be yourself' sign behind a stern boss.
'30 days? Isn't that term rather harsh under celebrity law?'
'See, Jake?! I told you your Grandmother makes a really MEAN Birthday cake!'
'Beneath that brusque, mean, arrogant exterior beats a heart of brusqueness, meanness and arrogance.'
'I'm changing the holiday schedule, you're on holiday from now.'