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'A little professionalism, people. When asking a patient to undress, we do not giggle.'
'Eat in moderation. Drink in moderation. Be merry all you want.'
'You go on without me. I wait half an hour after eating, before I go swimming.'
'Eat a balanced diet, walk daily and make prudent investments.'
'You need an ectomy. Hop up here and we'll see what kind.'
'Just in case I want you to shorten your bucket list down to just one thing you can do in this room.'
'It's simple - we take everything out and just put back the good stuff.'
That's a nasty outgoing toenail you've got there.'
'In the few minutes remaining, Dr. Nemo, could you briefly give us some idea what you've been talking about for the last hour?'
"When you stop to smell the roses, check first for bees!"
'You were right, never wake a sleepwalker, that was delicious.'
'I would like to see you lower the numbers on your blood pressure, cholesterol and delinquent doctor bills.'
'No, I don't think Dr. Williams will be mad because you came to me for a second opinion, but I'm mad because you didn't come to me first.'
'Take up with someone with infectious laughter.'
'I used to spring forward. Now all I can do is fall back.'
'Doctor says you should to learn to relax and not point a toy gun at police.'
'Take the optimistic approach. When you sit down to eat, think of your stomach as being half full.'
'Actually there's even a limit for that good cholesterol.'
'This is a unique case... I'm referring you to a quack.'
'Have you tried Lourdes?'
'Stop walking in a manner which tells all and sundry that the doctor's had a word with you.'
'If it looks good and it tastes good, it's probably bad for you!'
'My doctor says I need a change of climate.' - 'Fine, according to the weather report a change is coming tomorrow.'
'When can you get rid of the crutches?' - 'My doctor says now, but my lawyer says not yet.'
'Arthur you've got a visitor.'