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"My doctor gave me the O.K. to go ahead and die during sex."
"How's the self-diagnosis coming?"
'Let me put it this way...don't start watching any miniseries on TV.'
"The diagnostic computer think I should defrag your hard drive."
"It's a good thing we caught this in time - An ingrown mustache can be VERY serious."
'I'll put it this way: throw away the planning book and start scrapbooking.'
"The doctor said I should eat more fruit and veg - better add another olive..."
'The doctor allows Sam only one cup of coffee a day.'
'Cut way back on grabbing for the gusto, and don't put any salt on it.'
'The second opinion I got advised me to sue you for malpractice.'
'Maybe you ought to sell your bagpipe.'
Charlie's medical advice always went in one ear and out the other.
"The doctor said I need to shop around for a casket. I asked for a second opinion and he suggested cremation."