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"Your condition is serious, Mr. Reynolds, but fortunately I recently scored some excellent weed that should alleviate your symptoms."
Curing Hemorrhoids Seminar
'Whenever I complained that my feet were killing me, nobody believed me.'
Med Alert: Heart Condition, Diabetes, BP/Sugar Meds, Cantankerous.
"Ok I was wrong. It's not a cold, you are a werewolf."
The Angina Monologues
"Let me check my card file for a joke about your condition."
"Write what you know. Write about male-pattern baldness."
Tags:writer, writers, author, authors, journalist, journalists, writer's block, write about what you know, write, writing, suggesting, suggestion, suggestions, advice, medical, medicine, medical condition, medical conditions, bald, baldness, male-pattern baldness, fashion, beauty, vanity, style, hair, hairstyle, hairstyles, relationship, relationships, relationship issues, relationship problems, marriage, marriages, married life, couple, couples, husband, husbands, wife, wives, mean comment, mean comments, unkind comment, unkind comments, bad muse, bad muses, terrible muse, terrible muses, muse, muses
'After looking at your test results and consulting many experts, it's my medical opinion that you have something I can't pronounce.'
Annual Dying of Thirst IOK Fun Crawl,
Tags:death valley, desert, deserts, desert race, desert races, dehydration, dehydrated, medical condition, medical conditions, dying of thirst, thirst, thirsts, thirsty, water, waters, drink, drinks, fun race, fun races, fun run, fun runs, runner, runners, run, runs, race, races, crawls, in the bleachers, bleachers, in the bleachers
'Well, that is a preexisting condition...'
'You have a Jazz disorder. Take these and call me in the morning.'
"I can't afford to take on any new conditions at this time."
Tags:medication, medications, med, meds, healthcare, prescription charge, prescription charges, health insurance, pharmacy, pharmacies, wealth gap, wealth divide, doctors appointment, doctor's appointment, public health coverage, treatment, treatments, expensive treatment, expensive treatments, medicine, medicines, condition, conditions, medical condition, medical conditions, getting old, ageing, getting older
'No, they're not for 3D TV, I've got Pink Eye.
Please watch your strep.
'Good Heavens, man, you look like an accident waiting to happen.'
Ulcer Clinic, Peptic, Duodenal, In-Laws.
"You don't have Strabismus. You have Picassoismus."
Cold and Flu Medication.
'Big deal, so you passed a kidney stone...think about what I do for a living!'
"Your prognosis is tied to the outcome of the election."
Tags:prognosis, diagnosis, diagnoses, prognoses, healthcare, obama, barack obama, hillary clinton, john mccain, election, elections, election result, election results, electorate, electorates, vote, votes, stress, doctor, doctors, physician, physicians, healthcare, health-care, medical condition, medical conditions, healthcare, health reform, medical reform, healthcare reform, medical insurance, health insurance, obamacare, medical politics, ppaca, affordable care act
"I spent hundreds of dollars on a course for entrepreneurs..."
'We can't determine if you're telling the truth, but you should have your doctor check your pressure.'
A condescending testicle
'I'm too tired to eat, Mom. I've got chronic fatigue syndrome.'