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Curing Hemorrhoids Seminar
"Your condition is serious, Mr. Reynolds, but fortunately I recently scored some excellent weed that should alleviate your symptoms."
Clinical Trails. . . Prevention . . . Detection. . . Diagnosis. . . Treatment.
"You have Floral-Pattern baldness."
'I've been a flatulence analyst for 15 years. . . I'll quit when it stops being fun. . .'
'Whenever I complained that my feet were killing me, nobody believed me.'
Med Alert: Heart Condition, Diabetes, BP/Sugar Meds, Cantankerous.
"Ok I was wrong. It's not a cold, you are a werewolf."
The Angina Monologues
"Let me check my card file for a joke about your condition."
"Write what you know. Write about male-pattern baldness."
Tags:writer, writers, author, authors, journalist, journalists, writer's block, write about what you know, write, writing, suggesting, suggestion, suggestions, advice, medical, medicine, medical condition, medical conditions, bald, baldness, male-pattern baldness, fashion, beauty, vanity, style, hair, hairstyle, hairstyles, relationship, relationships, relationship issues, relationship problems, marriage, marriages, married life, couple, couples, husband, husbands, wife, wives, mean comment, mean comments, unkind comment, unkind comments, bad muse, bad muses, terrible muse, terrible muses, muse, muses
'My feet are always freezing. I hope I don't have poor circulation.'
'After looking at your test results and consulting many experts, it's my medical opinion that you have something I can't pronounce.'
Annual Dying of Thirst IOK Fun Crawl,
Tags:death valley, desert, deserts, desert race, desert races, dehydration, dehydrated, medical condition, medical conditions, dying of thirst, thirst, thirsts, thirsty, water, waters, drink, drinks, fun race, fun races, fun run, fun runs, runner, runners, run, runs, race, races, crawls, in the bleachers, bleachers, in the bleachers
'Well, that is a preexisting condition...'
'You have a Jazz disorder. Take these and call me in the morning.'
"I can't afford to take on any new conditions at this time."
Tags:medication, medications, med, meds, healthcare, prescription charge, prescription charges, health insurance, pharmacy, pharmacies, wealth gap, wealth divide, doctors appointment, doctor's appointment, public health coverage, treatment, treatments, expensive treatment, expensive treatments, medicine, medicines, condition, conditions, medical condition, medical conditions, getting old, ageing, getting older
Knights of the Allergy Table
Tags:allergy, allergies, allergic reaction, allergic reactions, allergen, knighthood, arthur, arthurian myth, arthurian myths, round table, knight, knights of the round table, medieval, knights, chivalry, chivalrous, king of the britons, medical conditions, hay fever, sensitive, sensitivity, allergen, allergens
Please watch your strep.
"You don't have Strabismus. You have Picassoismus."
'Good Heavens, man, you look like an accident waiting to happen.'
Ulcer Clinic, Peptic, Duodenal, In-Laws.
'Big deal, so you passed a kidney stone...think about what I do for a living!'
Cold and Flu Medication.
"Your prognosis is tied to the outcome of the election."
Tags:prognosis, diagnosis, diagnoses, prognoses, healthcare, obama, barack obama, hillary clinton, john mccain, election, elections, election result, election results, electorate, electorates, vote, votes, stress, doctor, doctors, physician, physicians, healthcare, health-care, medical condition, medical conditions, healthcare, health reform, medical reform, healthcare reform, medical insurance, health insurance, obamacare, medical politics, ppaca, affordable care act