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"A guy gets his legs broken, he should have the right to choose his own doctor."
"I'm sorry we're unable to save you, but we can still save your credit rating."
"For me, crime pays for what Medicare doesn't cover."
"Don't complain to me about what I have to bill you. Not only do I have an needy shopaholic wife, but an ex-wife, a mansion on a hill, a yacht, and three kids at Harvard! Just how else do you think am I going to pay for it all?"
"Very scary, Jennifer—does anyone else have an H.M.O. horror story?"
"The great thing about self-medicating is there is a low co-pay."
"At what point was I moved from intensive care to expensive care?"
"We're happy that you got great news on your tests. We're still sending in our grievance counselor to help you cope with your medical bill, though."
"Our hospital is dedicated to cost transparency for our patients. I think you'll find our prices are so transparent you can't even see them."