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'Hey Vincent this is terrific!...And you can really get these on prescription?'
As a doctor I can only say that although the jury is out regarding the benefits of cannabis smoking, I can say with confidence that this particular sample would make one bitchin' spliff.
"Whatever doesn't kill me gives me the chance to try new prescriptions."
'I had to confirm that you had prescribed a placebo, Doctor. But when I said it was an extra-strength placebo, he was pleased.'
'Congratulations! Your refill is on the house - no one thought you'd live this long.'
'That's one antibiotic-resistant virus!'
'Take two tokes of weed, Mrs Grunfield, and call me in the morning.'
'Apparently the drugs make me hallucinate, not that I've noticed.'
'Its not quite the same as using a twenty...'
'I wonder if the anti-doping agency ever looking into the Popeye and Spinach thing.'
'Your tests all come back negative, but we have a pill for that.'
'Don't worry these pills will make you feel bullish.'
'Bad news - that new antibiotic has just about put us on the endangered-species list.'
'Eddie, don't worry about market downturns. The rumour is that big Pharma will come up with a pill.'
Department of Silly Sounding Prescription Medications
'These efficiency experts are ruining the pharmaceutical industry....'
'Ellery is a police dog, trained to sniff out narcotics.'
California approves marijuana for medical reasons.
'Do you have a shampoo for damaged hair?'
'I've been watching what I eat. Have you got anything for tired eyes?'
'We've had this miracle drug for several years but marketing hasn't been able to come up with a good name.'
'One of the side effects of this medication is it gives people the urge to operate heavy machinery.'
'They do wonders for my hay-fever.'