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"We're running a little behind, so I'd like each of you to ask yourself, 'Am I really that sick, or would I just be wasting the doctor' valuable time?'"
'Nothing, honey, except flare up unexpectedly and cause a lot of trouble. Sort of like your uncle.'
"It seems the patient wishes to exercise his right to choose his own doctor. Is there another doctor in the house?"
Tags:doctor, doctors, patient, patients, medical rights, patient rights, second opinion, second opinions, medical opinion, medical opinions, personality clash, medical emergency, medical emergencies, healthcare, paramedic, paramedics, rights, health-care, medical crisis, medical crises, difficult patient, difficult patients
Pharmacy Closed. . . Chicken Soup.
"Leon... I've come for the rest of you."
Tags:death, grim reaper, grim reapers, death calling, death calls, near death experience, encounter with death, close to death, amuptees, serious injury, almost died, almost dead, come for the rest of you, accident, accidents, medical emergency, medical emergencies, crude joke, crude humour, crude humor, mulitple amputee
"Sure you remember me. I'm the guy who collapsed here last night... right in front of your... and had to be rushed to the hospital."
Tags:bar, bars, chat up, chatting up, chat up line, chat up lines, pick up line, pick up lines, bad chat up lines, bad pick up lines, collapsed, collapse, medical emergency, oxygen tank, oxygen, ill, unwell, rushed to hospital, hospital, hospitals, date, dates, dating, dating fails, remember, remembering
'The first aid team has the day off.'
Cut hand while slicing bagels. All other emergencies.
"That's what I love about New York—people leave you alone."
Tags:new york, ny, nyc, new york city, city, cities, urban, city living, city life, urban living, urban life, pedestrian, pedestrians, passer-by, passersby, good samaritan, good samaritans, emergency, emergencies, passed out, unconscious, medical emergency, medical emergencies, alone, selfish, self-centred, self-centered, unconcerned, uncaring, heartless, indifferent, unsolved, disinterested, uninterested, humanity, charity
"Let me through, I'm a pharmaceutical rep."
Tags:emergency, emergencies, medical, medicine, medical emergency, medical emergencies, pharmaceutical rep, pharmaceutical reps, pharmaceutical representative, pharmaceutical representatives, pharmaceutical company, pharmaceutical companies, medical professional, medical professionals, medical advice, medical care, doctor, doctors, nurse, paramedic, paramedics, first aid, health care, healthcare, unqualified, questionable, suspicious, unhelpful, modern life
"All I can say is thank God for the patients' bill of rights."
Tags:accident, accidents, bandage, bandages, bad accident, bad accidents, recovery, in recovery, medical emergency, medical emergency, patients bill of right, patients' bill of right, bill of right, hospital, hospitals, hospital treatment, medical care, fair treatment, access to medical care, medical decisions, bandages, bandaged, wrong priorities
Intoduction to Cheneyspeak
NHS Confederation suggests that patients be allowed to register with A&E departments..."Can someone help me I've got a bit of a cough!"
"I don't want to alarm anyone, but is there a librarian on board?"
Tags:librarian, librarians, emergency, emergencies, emergency personnel, emergency personnels, library, libraries, medical emergency, medical emergencies, crisis, crises, aeroplane, aeroplanes, airplane, airplanes, plane, planes, passenger, passengers, literary question, bookworm, bookworms, book worm, book worms
"Today we insure every American and end the need for private health insurance."
Tags:health insurance, private health insurance, health care, heathcare, heathcare funding, heath insurance companies, insurance companies, universal healthcare, universal healthcare provision, obamacare, ahca, aca, medical emergency, medical emergencies, future, politics, us politics, divisive politics, insure, insurance, universal insurance
"Neither the time nor the place, Doug!"
Tags:irony, ironic, emergency hotline, emergency hotlines, emergency, injury, injured, emergency care, idiom, idioms, saying, sayings, service, refused service, refuse, refused, domestic, domestics, marital spat, marital spats, poor timing, bad timing, marriage problem, marriage problems, marital problem, marital problems, medical emergency, emergency service, emergency services, emergency number, emergency numbers, contretemps, accident, accidents, mishap, mishaps, misadventure, misadventures, unsympathetic, missing the obvious
"Is there a dramaturge in the house?"
"I'm afraid we've had to move him to expensive care."
"Let me through – I'm morbidly curious!"
"When he was yelling stroke, stroke, stroke...I just thought he was counting!"
'Did someone yell, bingo?' - 'No, Selma had another stroke!'
"Just take a seat, Mr. Bern. You're acting as if you were the only one here who's been shot."
Tags:waiting room, waiting rooms, gun shot, gunshot, gunshots, shooting victim, shooting victims, gun crime, gun crimes, dramatics, melodrama, melodramatic, melodramas, receptionist, receptionists, unsympathetic, a&e, doctor's office, doctors office, a & e, medical emergency, medical emergencies, gun victim, wound, wounds, wounded, gunshot wound, gunshot wounds, entitled, entitlement, american healthcare, united states healthcare, healthcare system, healthcare systems, emergency room, emergency rooms, hospital, hospitals
"Stop ringing for the nurse. We know you're here."
"Everybody back! This man's swallowed his nose! Don't panic, I'm a sheet metal worker! Someone bring me a pail of water and a catcher's mitt!"
"Please let me through, gentlemen. I'm a dental hygienist."