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'The bad news is that we've detected an irregular heartbeat. The good news is that the rhythm is irresistible!'
'It's either a boo-boo or an owwie, but the doctors need to run some more tests before they decide.'
'I want to biopsy that growth, Mr. Johnson. I don't like the looks of it.'
"I've compiled a list of fitness-obsessed celebrities who died of natural causes at the age you are now."
'Can you believe I was open for six months, and not one single client?!?'
"It's quite common, Senator. Most politicians are filled with hot air."
'Actually, according to your height, you're at your ideal body weight.'
Depressed, not sleeping, low self esteem... still enough about me, what about you?
'After looking at your test results and consulting many experts, it's my medical opinion that you have something I can't pronounce.'
'Good this time turn the other way and cough.'
"You're a good listener. You hear my feelings."
'Watch the news with the sound turned off. You're suffering from information overload.'
Way too General Practitioner
"Of course my cough is productive."
Why do I need a CAT scan? I just had a whole body scan at the airport.
'I'm having my colon checked.'
"Enough Trump talk. Let's get back to something less depressing."
'I have yopur lab results. Some of your readings are too high and some are too low. No, they don't balance out.'
"The good news is it's not jaundice. Have you bean around any dogs lately?"
"Sounds good. No, wait ??" that's my iPod."
'I'd like you to check my core values.'
'I was such a good student that I skipped a year in medical school - but that's why I never learned about kidneys.'
"You have repetitive motion injury."
'A harmless mole - but keep an eye on it.'