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'The bad news is that we've detected an irregular heartbeat. The good news is that the rhythm is irresistible!'
'It's either a boo-boo or an owwie, but the doctors need to run some more tests before they decide.'
'Actually, according to your height, you're at your ideal body weight.'
Depressed, not sleeping, low self esteem... still enough about me, what about you?
"You're a good listener. You hear my feelings."
'Watch the news with the sound turned off. You're suffering from information overload.'
Why do I need a CAT scan? I just had a whole body scan at the airport.
'I have yopur lab results. Some of your readings are too high and some are too low. No, they don't balance out.'
'I was such a good student that I skipped a year in medical school - but that's why I never learned about kidneys.'
"The good news is it's not jaundice. Have you bean around any dogs lately?"
'I'd like you to check my core values.'
"Sounds good. No, wait ??" that's my iPod."
"You have repetitive motion injury."
'Just as I suspected... you don't chew your food enough.'
"You don't need a prescription, Mr. Beesley - you need an iron...."
'It's a generic disease, so Ill give you some generic drugs.'
'Honestly, if there was a virtual prostate exam, don't you think I'd want to be the first to know?'
'It may be more inconvenient, but the 'Reverse Prostate Exam' is a lot less embarrassing for the both of us.'
'I'll have to think about this...I don't want to make any rash decisions!'
'Let's just say, you're structurally sound. It's your facade that's crumbling.'
'You need to go on a balanced diet.'
'Might be depression. Your tongue is depressed.'
"I have your lab test results. Cut back on your vitamins. You have the healthiest urine I have ever seen."