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'The bad news is that we've detected an irregular heartbeat. The good news is that the rhythm is irresistible!'
'It's either a boo-boo or an owwie, but the doctors need to run some more tests before they decide.'
"And you say you've been erect for over 4 hours?"
Tags:snowmen, snowman, snow figure, snow figures, snow person, snow people, snow-person, snow-people, doctor, doctors, physician, physicians, checkup, checkups, check-up, check-ups, check up, check ups, physical, physicals, medical test, medical tests, medical exam, medical exams, winter, wintertime, winter-time, winters
"Give it to me nuanced, Doc."
Tags:hospital, hospitals, clinic, clinics, doctor's office, doctor's office, medical, medicine, doctor, doctors, doctor's appointment, doctor's appointment, medical exam, medical exams, patient, patients, health, health care, healthcare, denial, nonacceptance, diagnosis, diagnoses, bad news, unfavourable diagnosis, unfavorable diagnosis, nuance, straight, give it to me, give it to me straight, tell me straight
"You should take it easy for a while, Mr. Harner. You've been infected by the virus of hate."
Tags:hate, hatred, anger, furious, curmudgeon, curmudgeons, curmudgeonly, grump, grumps, grumpy, enraged, diagnose, diagnoses, diagnosing, diagnosed, examination, examinations, medical exam, medical exams, irate, irritate, irritates, irritating, irritation, irritations, personality, personality type, personality types, virus, viruses
Depressed, not sleeping, low self esteem... still enough about me, what about you?
'I haven't got all your results back from the labs, but an initial 'off the cuff' diagnosis would be that you're a 'heart attack waiting to happen.'
'Sorry, I'm a doctor. If you want that looked at, you'll have to make an appointment like everyone else.'
'Good this time turn the other way and cough.'
"You're a good listener. You hear my feelings."
'No, being forty is not the result of an aging disease.'
"So, what's with the paper dress?"
Tags:hospital, hospitals, clinic, clinics, doctor's office, doctor's office, doctor's appointment, doctor's appointment, medical exam, medical exams, medical, medicine, doctor, doctors, patient, patients, health, health care, healthcare, fashion, style, paper dress, dress, dresses, paper dresses, hospital gown, hospital gowns, paper gown, paper gowns, clothes, clothing, bedside manner, rude, rude doctor, rude doctors
Why do I need a CAT scan? I just had a whole body scan at the airport.
'Doctor, in your expert medical opinion, is this lump in my armpit anything to be concerned about?'
'I have yopur lab results. Some of your readings are too high and some are too low. No, they don't balance out.'
Sports Medicine - Doctor has Giant Foam Finger.
'I was such a good student that I skipped a year in medical school - but that's why I never learned about kidneys.'
"The good news is it's not jaundice. Have you bean around any dogs lately?"
"You have repetitive motion injury."
For your stress test, just log on to your 401k.
"You don't need a prescription, Mr. Beesley - you need an iron...."
Tags:wrinkle, wrinkles, prescription, prescriptions, doctor, doctors, gp, gps, physician, physicians, checkup, checkups, physical, physicals, medical exam, medical exams, medical examination, medical examinations, iron, irons, ironing board, ironing boards, household chore, chore, chores, laundry, geriatrics, old age, old-age, geriatrician, geriatricians
Tags:doctors, doctor, md, mds, gp, gps, general practitioner, general practitioners, clinic, clinics, doctors clinic, doctor's clinic, patient, patients, doctors surgery, doctor's surgery, doctors surgeries, fortune, fortunes, fortune cookie, fortune cookies, appointment, appointments, doctor's appointment, unprofessional, professionalism, superstition, superstitions, superstitious, diagnose, diagnosis, medical diagnosis, cookie, cookies, cookie jar, sick, sickness, medical exam, medical exams, ill, illness
'Just as I suspected... you don't chew your food enough.'
"Your sodium level is high...probably from taking everything you hear with a grain of salt!"
Tags:sodium, sodium level, sodium levels, salt, salt intake, salt levels, grain of salt, pinch of salt, checkup, checkups, check up, check ups, check-up, check-ups, physical, physicals, medical exam, medical exams, expression, expressions, idiom, idioms, phrase, phrases, gp, gps, general practitioner, general practitioners, doctor, doctors, nutritionist, nutritionists