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'Another advantage of switching to electronic health records is that it will make your indecipherable handwriting obsolete.'
"Your appointment's been cancelled. You took too long filling out those forms."
Tags:doctor, doctors, nurse, medical, medical center, medical centers, medical centre, medical centres, hospital, hospitals, gps, gp, general practitioner, general practitioners, surgery, surgeries, checkup, physical, physician, physicians, doctor's office, doctors office, doctor's offices, doctors offices, receptionist, receptionists, secretary, secretaries, medical form, medical forms, medical history, paperwork, records, form, forms
"I'll distract him with my complete medical history, and then you can make your move."
Tags:medical history, medical histories, mugger, muggers, mugging, muggings, street crime, street crimes, pensioner, pensioners, senior citizen, senior citizens, oap, oaps, old age, old-age, hold up, hold ups, hold-up, hold-ups, gun crime, gun crimes, distraction, distractions, bore, bores, bored, boring, boredom, escape plan, escape plans
"Do you have any history of your hair being on fire?"
'Why do you want to look at my history. I'm far better at Math and Geography.'
Medical Data Base of Useful Information, 5K. Medical Data base of useless information, 500,000,000 MB.
'We've finally computerized your files. Now we just have to get them off Facebook.'
'Was that a good 'hmmm' or a bad 'hmmm'?'
"Any family history of indifference?"
Tags:cat, cats, feline, felines, pet, pets, vet, vets, veterinarian, veterinarians, veterinary, indifferent, indifference, unsympathetic, uninterested, unconcerned, lack of concern, lack of sympathy, lack of interest, sad, sadness, depress, depressed, animal harm, animal welfare, bad owners, bad owner, family history, previous incidence, previous incidences, common, runs in the family, medical history, genetic illness, gene, genes, diagnosis, diagnose, diagnosing
'I'm afraid the doctor can't see you until you fill out your medical history form.'
"I want you to hear it from me before you hear it from the hackers who broke into our files."
Tags:doctor, doctors, doctors office, doctors surgery, doctors offices, medical record, medical records, medical history, medical histories, personal information, personal data, hacker, hackers, hacked, hack, hacking medical records, cybercriminal, cybercriminals, patient record, patient records, hacking medical records, security failure, cybersecurity, stolen medical records, hear it from me, bad news
"Don't be scared! I'm just wearing this old x-ray gear for throwback Thursday."
Tags:x-ray, x ray, x-rays, xray, xrays, radiologist, diagnostic imaging, radiology, radiologists, rads, rad tech, radiology technician, throwback thursday, medical history, history of medicine, medical advances, medical advancements, scary costumes, scary costumes, patient, patients, exam rooms, examination room, healthcare, health care
"Any family history of ragtime?"
Tags:hospital, hospitals, clinic, clinics, doctor's office, doctor's offices, medical, medicine, doctor, doctors, patient, patients, health, health care, healthcare, symptom, symptoms, family history, medical history, stethoscope, stethoscopes, bad sign, cardiology, cardiologist, cardiologists, heart health, beat, heartbeat, rhythm, sound, sounds, heart, music, ragtime, musical instrument, musical instruments, trombone, trombones
Washington's Teeth - Wood Bleach
1688: Pirate Dentistry - "Say ARR!"
'You don't need to worry about your records being sold to the highest bidder...they'll bugger it and sell them off cheap!'
'Does a paper cut from a Sports Illustrated swimsuit issue count as a sports related injury?'
'Mr. Peters, we're going to throw out your medical records and start you from scratch as a healthy man.'
Louis Pasteur tells a joke.... '"Hippocrates, two alchemists, Marie Curie's uncle...are being chased by a mad dog dog down a street in Avignon..."
"We've found that patients are more truthful when it's open mic night."
"I was just wondering how our lives would have turned out if the Rhinocratic oath had caught on."
"You've omitted your previous patient experience and recommendations from two other doctors."
Tags:medical, medical history, omit, remove, doctor, doctors, md, mds, m.d.s, m.d., gp, gps, g.p.s, g.p., general practitioner, general practitioners, medical check up, medical check ups, clinic, clinics, doctors clinic, doctors clinics, doctor's clinic, doctor's clinics, hospital, hospitals, doctors appointment, doctors appointments, doctor's appointment, doctor's appointments, physician, physicians
"I just don't know - Hipppocrates says one thing, Galen says another thing, and Vesalius says something entirely different."
Tags:doctor, patient, hippocrates, galen, vesalius, medical historian, medical historians, doctors, patients, diagnoses, roman medicine, greek medicine, gp, gps, general practitioner, general practitioners, physician, physicians, healthcare, medical history, diagnosis, second opinion, referral, referrals