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"I expect a speedy recovery,"
"There's no co-pay this time. The doctor really wasn't paying attention."
"Would you please step back to the machine while I make an adjustment?"
'I was going to text you an apology for medical negligence ... but my phone is in there.'
"Went in for a simple blood test and got cloned by mistake."
'Penicillin is called a 'wonder drug' because any time the doctor wonders what you've got, that's what you get.'
'I don't give a damn what the chart says! i did not have a hysterectomy!!!'
"I'm afraid your dental plan does not cover tusks."
'Hey, Audrey! Give me a hand with this darned tape, would ya?'
"We will of course, be taking full responsibility for the mistake made during your face-lift."
"Look. Jesus healed my severed leg."
"Sorry, you rolled off the table just as I was starting on your nose!"
Surgeons' Changing Room / Surgeons on manslaughter charge.
Doctor reading the paper, "Frankly, I don't think he takes a blind bit of notice of his patients."
Heaven - "The surgeon slipped"
"I'm going to sue the NHS"/"Me too"
"You are suing me for medical negligence... I knew I shouldn't of used that lawyer's brain!"
"I feel she doesn't listen to me."