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'We need a health care plan with some teeth in it.'
'Sorry - global warming is not covered!'
'Bad news - your policy covers your heart itself, but not the arteries.'
"Arm fish-insurance won't cover that."
'I'm just a struggling actor. Your insurance policy doesn't cover a real doctor.'
"Kids, your mother and I have spent so much money on health insurance this year that instead of vacation we're all going to go in for elective surgery."
"Do my medical benefits cover being sick of rising medical costs?"
Tags:medical cost, medical costs, medical benefit, medical benefits, health insurance, medical insurance, medical bill, medical bills, healthcare cost, healthcare costs, hospital bill, hospital bills, healthcare policy, medical policy, insurance cover, medical cover, health cover, patient, patients, social problem, social problems
'Sorry, but your insurance won't cover your medical expenses. However, they did mention that if you die, they may consider covering it in the future.'
Tags:health insurance, medical insurance, health policy, medical policy, health cover, medical cover, insurance policy, insurance policies, doctor, doctors, terminal illness, medical expense, medical expenses, hospital bill, hospital bills, hospital, hospitals, healthcare, health care, healthcare provider, health care providers
'You're right, Mr. Fusco. Your health insurance does cover pre-existing conditions. Do, honestly, how long have you been a wolverine?'
'If you could go behind the screen and remove your wallet.'
Medical Study: Twins now surprisingly common.
"Sir, a customer is trying to use their insurance to pay for medicine to save their dying child."
Tags:medical insurance, health insurance, medical reform, medical reforms, health reform, health reforms, medical policy, medical policies, health policy, health policies, health cover, medical covers, claim, claims, claimant, claimants, pre-existing condition, pre-existing conditions, medical bill, medical bills, healthcare cost, health care costs, medical cost, medical costs, drug, medicine, medicines, capitalism, corporate culture, corporate ethics
"No matter how badly you have sinned, you don't have to worry about losing your coverage!"
"Your medical insurance policy does not cover pre-existing organs."
'Your cholesterol numbers are a bit high for your health insurance premium rates.'
'I understand you're upset with the insurance company. While my concern is your bottom, their concern is the bottom line.'
"You probably don't need them, but your health plan covers unlimited bandages."
"You'd think they'd at least offer health insurance with this job."
Tags:health insurance, employment benefits, health policy, health policies, job perk, job perks, benefits package, benefits packages, medical insurance, medical policy, medical policies, crash test, crash-test, dummy, dummies, job description, health and safety, workplace accident, workplace accidents, crash test centre, test centre, test centres, test center, test centers
'Your medical insurance only covers laughter, which they say is the best medicine. So, a man, a dog, and a cat walk into a bar...'
'I have the results of your tests. Luckily, your HMO lowered the acceptable values, so you don't need any other tests.'
"Come on, Jim, don't tell me our insurance doesn't offer other stress-reducing options."
Tags:stress, medical insurance, insurance policy, insurance policies, thumb sucking, medical policy, medical policies, stress relief, stress reliever, stress relievers, health insurance, sucking thumb, pacifier, pacifiers, bad habit, bad habits, stress-reducing, stress reducing, stressful job, stressful jobs
"How long have you got? To answer that we'll have to run extensive tests on your health insurance."
"Yep. That's the new health plan. Take two aspirins and don't call the doctor in the morning."
Tags:job benefits, job perk, job perks, job benefit, health insurance, medical insurance, medical cover, health cover, medical policy, health policy, medical bill, medical bills, healthcare cost, cutback, cutbacks, downsizing, downsize, downsized, cutting back, medical plan, health plan, health plans
"Your insurance only pays for us to put wheels on this thing."
Tags:mousetrap, mousetraps, mouse-trap, mouse-traps, mouse trap, mouse traps, mouse, mice, rodent, rodents, rat, rats, health insurance, medical insurance, insurance policy, insurance policies, medical cover, health cover, health policy, medical policy, cure, cures, treatment, treatments, hospital bill, hospital bills, pest control, pest controls, pest, pests, inhumane trap, inhumane traps
"I've never needed health insurance - I just make sure that I always owe money to everybody."