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'I told you he had high blood pressure!'
"You gave us quite a scare there Mr. Edwards! We thought we lost your credit card information."
Tags:medical problem, medical problems, bill, bills, medical bill, medical bills, medical insurance, health insurance, health cover, medical cover, credit card, credit cards, info, information, doctor, doctors, gp, gps, general practitioner, general practitioners, physician, physicians, health problem, health problems, medical scare, medical scares, bedside manner, bedside manners
'I've been a flatulence analyst for 15 years. . . I'll quit when it stops being fun. . .'
'Looks like your medical insurance does not cover pre-existing organs.'
'You need more calcium.'
Med Alert: Heart Condition, Diabetes, BP/Sugar Meds, Cantankerous.
"It's not like me to have chronic pain. I'm commitment-adverse!"
"Ok I was wrong. It's not a cold, you are a werewolf."
"This will buy you four months.
Tags:doctor, doctors, shot, shots, injection, injections, drug, pharmaceutical, pharmaceuticals, big pharma, prescription, prescriptions, medical problem, medical problems, disease, diseases, illness, illnesses, booster, booster shot, booster shots, vaccine, vaccines, vaccination, vaccinations, buy time, buys time, buying time, terminal, terminal illness, terminal illnesses, diagnosis, prognosis, prognoses, diagnoses, physician, physicians, comfort, comforting, bedside manner
"I love you, too, but with my high cholesterol and your high triglycerides we could never have children."
Retirement and healthcare.
"I'm afraid it's your body, Mr. Haskins."
The Angina Monologues
"Donald is an appendicitis survivor, too."
Tags:appendicitis, appendix, appendixes, medicine, medical, survive, survivor, overreaction, overreact, trauma, traumatic, shared traumas, small talk, medical procedure, medical procedures, shared interest, shared interests, conversation starter, conversation skill, conversation skills, conversation starters, medical problem, medical problems, health problem, health problems, appendectomy, appendectomies, conversations, converse
"There are many questions, of course, that won't be answered till the autopsy."
"You probably already know this disease from the walkathon of the same name."
"Oh well, I'm off the see the orthopedist."
"My heart is healthy, but my liver is shot to hell."
Tags:heart, hearts, liver, livers, organ, organs, shot to hell, health problem, health problems, medical problem, medical problems, drunk, drunks, drunkard, drunkards, alcoholic, alcoholics, alcoholism, health problem, health problems, drink problem, drink problems, drinking problem, drinking problems, physical, physicals, checkup, checkups, check-up, check-ups, organ failure, organ failures
"I don't know what the big deal is. I've been having rolling blackouts for years."
"It's okay...It just thinks it has Dutch Elm Disease!"
A condescending testicle
"When he was yelling stroke, stroke, stroke...I just thought he was counting!"
'...time you had your ears syringed?'
'It's my landslides & avalanches, Doc - is there anything you can do?'
'Enough of my tapeworm - tell me about your fleas.'