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'I told you he had high blood pressure!'
'Looks like your medical insurance does not cover pre-existing organs.'
'I've been a flatulence analyst for 15 years. . . I'll quit when it stops being fun. . .'
'You need more calcium.'
Med Alert: Heart Condition, Diabetes, BP/Sugar Meds, Cantankerous.
"Ok I was wrong. It's not a cold, you are a werewolf."
"This will buy you four months.
Tags:doctor, doctors, shot, shots, injection, injections, drug, drugs, pharmaceutical, pharmaceuticals, big pharma, prescription, prescriptions, medical problem, medical problems, disease, diseases, illness, illnesses, booster, booster shot, booster shots, vaccine, vaccines, vaccination, vaccinations, buy time, buys time, buying time, terminal, terminal illness, terminal illnesses, diagnosis, prognosis, prognoses, diagnoses, physician, physicians, comfort, comforting, bedside manner
"I love you, too, but with my high cholesterol and your high triglycerides we could never have children."
Retirement and healthcare.
"Donald is an appendicitis survivor, too."
Tags:appendicitis, appendix, appendixes, medicine, medical, survive, survivor, overreaction, overreact, trauma, traumatic, shared traumas, small talk, small-talk, medical procedure, medical procedures, shared interest, shared interests, conversation starter, conversation skill, conversation skills, conversation starters, medical problem, medical problems, health problem, health problems, appendectomy, appendectomies, conversations, converse
The Angina Monologues
"You probably already know this disease from the walkathon of the same name."
"It's okay...It just thinks it has Dutch Elm Disease!"
A condescending testicle
"When he was yelling stroke, stroke, stroke...I just thought he was counting!"
'...time you had your ears syringed?'
'It's my landslides & avalanches, Doc - is there anything you can do?'
'Enough of my tapeworm - tell me about your fleas.'
"Some kids are eating so much junk food and getting so fat they can hardly move."
This thing on my neck is keeping me awake at night.
'I think I see what the problem is, but I'll send you down for some X-rays just to make sure.'
"I'll be fielding any questions you may have and my assistant, Carol, will be googling the answer."
"Trust me, Doc, it's quicker if I tell you what doesn't hurt."
Tags:hypochondria, hypochondriac, hypochondriacs, doctor, doctors, gp, gps, physician, physicians, medical problem, medical problems, health problem, health problems, healthcare problem, healthcare problems, medical anxiety, checkup, checkups, check-up, check-ups, check up, check ups, pensioner, pensioners, oap, oaps, senior citizen, senior citizens
"Whatever doesn't kill me gives me the chance to try new prescriptions."