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'I told you he had high blood pressure!'
"You gave us quite a scare there Mr. Edwards! We thought we lost your credit card information."
Tags:medical problem, medical problems, bill, bills, medical bill, medical bills, medical insurance, health insurance, health cover, medical cover, credit card, credit cards, info, information, doctor, doctors, gp, gps, general practitioner, general practitioners, physician, physicians, health problem, health problems, medical scare, medical scares, bedside manner, bedside manners
'I was thinking acupuncture might cure his laziness. . .'
'You need more calcium.'
"It's not like me to have chronic pain. I'm commitment-adverse!"
Med Alert: Heart Condition, Diabetes, BP/Sugar Meds, Cantankerous.
"Ok I was wrong. It's not a cold, you are a werewolf."
"This will buy you four months.
Tags:doctor, doctors, shot, shots, injection, injections, drug, pharmaceutical, pharmaceuticals, big pharma, prescription, prescriptions, medical problem, medical problems, disease, diseases, illness, illnesses, booster, booster shot, booster shots, vaccine, vaccines, vaccination, vaccinations, buy time, buys time, buying time, terminal, terminal illness, terminal illnesses, diagnosis, prognosis, prognoses, diagnoses, physician, physicians, comfort, comforting, bedside manner
Retirement and healthcare.
"I love you, too, but with my high cholesterol and your high triglycerides we could never have children."
"I'm afraid it's your body, Mr. Haskins."
'And this is the only performance indicator that's moving up. Unfortunately, it's my blood pressure.'
The Angina Monologues
"Donald is an appendicitis survivor, too."
Tags:appendicitis, appendix, appendixes, medicine, medical, survive, survivor, overreaction, overreact, trauma, traumatic, shared traumas, small talk, small-talk, medical procedure, medical procedures, shared interest, shared interests, conversation starter, conversation skill, conversation skills, conversation starters, medical problem, medical problems, health problem, health problems, appendectomy, appendectomies, conversations, converse
"You probably already know this disease from the walkathon of the same name."
"There are many questions, of course, that won't be answered till the autopsy."
"Oh well, I'm off the see the orthopedist."
"My heart is healthy, but my liver is shot to hell."
Tags:heart, hearts, liver, livers, organ, organs, shot to hell, health problem, health problems, medical problem, medical problems, drunk, drunks, drunkard, drunkards, alcoholic, alcoholics, alcoholism, health problem, health problems, drink problem, drink problems, drinking problem, drinking problems, physical, physicals, checkup, checkups, check-up, check-ups, organ failure, organ failures
Grim reaper with a notepad passes a group of smokers
Tags:death, dead, grim reaper, grim reaper, reaper, reapers, smoking, smokers, smoker, tobacco, bad health, health, unhealthy, medical problems, health effects, health problems, cancer, lung cancer, future, futures, notepad, notepads, note, notes, notebook, notebooks, deadly, disease, disease, hazardous, health hazard, quit smoking
"I don't know what the big deal is. I've been having rolling blackouts for years."
'So - what does it sound like to you?'
A condescending testicle
"I told you I was sick! The doc says I'm a full blown hypochondriac....and he gave me a new wonder drug called a placebo!"
Tags:doctor, doctor's office, doctors office, doctor's offices, doctors offices, doctors, gp, gps, patients, hypochondriacs, hypochondria, medical paranoia, medical problems, placebos, wonder drugs, miracle drug, miracle drugs, patients, patient, hypochondriac, drug, wonder drug, placebo, sick, irony
"When he was yelling stroke, stroke, stroke...I just thought he was counting!"
'...time you had your ears syringed?'