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"It's a soul patch, but luckily we've caught it early."
Tags:soul patch, soul patches, facial hair, beard, beards, hair, out of style, not stylish, jazz dot, uncool, out of date, fashion, fashion police, diagnose, diagnosis, doctor, doctors, nurse, nurses, medical, medical professionals, medical professional, hospital, hospitals, medical center, medical centers, medical centre, medical centres, doctor's office, doctor's offices, patient, patients, evaluation, trendy, trend setting, fashionable
"Let me through, I'm a pharmaceutical rep."
Tags:emergency, emergencies, medical, medicine, medical emergency, medical emergencies, pharmaceutical rep, pharmaceutical reps, pharmaceutical representative, pharmaceutical representatives, pharmaceutical company, pharmaceutical companies, medical professional, medical professionals, medical advice, medical care, doctor, doctors, nurse, nurses, paramedic, paramedics, first aid, health care, healthcare, unqualified, questionable, suspicious, unhelpful, modern life
'Looks like they're getting ready for the nurse's strike...'
"I want a doctor I can relate to, someone who's at least fifteen pounds over his ideal weight."
Tags:overweight, relatable, relatability, doctor, doctors, nutritionist, nutritionists, medical professional, medical professionals, ideal weight, weight loss, diet, diets, dieting, weight gain, middle age, middle aged, beside manner, personal, preference, preferences, unhealthy, extra baggage, dietitian, dietitians, healthy eating, healthy living
"Now that you've taken all the drugs that start with 'A' I'd like to start you on the 'Bs'."
The Chiropractor - 'I've been looking forward to this all week!'
'You're allergic to media.'
"I'd like a second opinion. Does this dress make me look fat?"
Tags:second opinion, second opinions, fat, look fat, looking fat, dress, dresses, insecure, insecurity, insecurities, medical professional, medical professionals, looks fat, flatter, flatters, flatters, outfit, outfits, doctor, doctors, doctor's opinion, gender stereotype, gender stereotypes, female stereotype, female stereotypes
'Let me through, please- I'm a herbalist!
"Give a man an exam and he'll be healthy for a day; teach a man to examine himself and he'll be healthy for a lifetime."
Tags:proctologist, proctologists, proctology, colorectal, colorectal surgery, colorectal surgeries, exam, exams, examination, examinations, self-examination, self-examinations, self-diagnosis, self-diagnose, self-diagnosing, handout, handouts, self-reliant, self-reliance, doctor, doctors, physician, physicians, medical professional, medical professionals, bootstraps, pull yourself up, pulling yourself up, teach, teaches, teaching, teacher, teachers, health, healthy, personal responsibility, expert, experts, expertise, learn, learns, learning, conservative, conservatives
"He claims to be a specialist, but I think he just has a one-track mind."
"Actually, I think I would like a third opinion!"
Tags:grim reaper, grim reapers, diagnosis, diagnoses, prognosis, prognoses, second opinion, second opinions, third opinion, third opinions, hospital, hospitals, doctor, doctors, medical professional, medical professionals, bad news, bearer of bad news, bearers of bad news, terminal, terminal diagnosis, terminal diagnoses
'I think that new 'Doctor's' font is interesting, but I can't read it.'
A Magician's X-Ray
'He claims to be a specialist, but I think he just has a one-track mind.'
"I've always wanted a Harley Street Davidson."
'A woman obstetrician! What do women know about that sort of thing?'
"The midwife was busy, so we called in the mid-husband."
The world of medicine as we know it, will end soon.
'I think I need a new psychiatrist. The one I have now gave me a mood ring to monitor my progress.'
'I didn't think this is what they meant by a doctor shortage in the rural areas.'
'No, there is no such thing as generic doctors!'
"To be honest, most of our work involves reassuring patients until nature cures them..."