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"Why, there's nothing wrong with the old gentleman—his heart is as sound as a dollar!"
All things previously thought to be good for us are in fact harmful to our health.
Doctor to man: 'Your kidney stone test came back. You didn't pass.'
According to a recent medical report, a glass of red wine a day is good for you.
"I'm afraid we can't insure you Mr Smith. It appears you carry the gene for insurance fraud"
"Medical reports say we all die sooner or later. So eat what you wish."
'I don't think the report applies to you.'
'I just reached the point where I'm spending more time on paper work then patient work.'
"I'm going to give it to you straight, Mr Watson, for a 27yr old you're in pretty bad shape"
"Take the rest of the day off"
'I'd give you a copy of your medical report, but I doubt you'd have time to read it.'
"Tell me, have you ever considered visiting Disneyland?"
"She's got it. By George she's got it!"