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"Personally, I never take anything but aspirin."
"First and foremost, I'm a healer."
'Medical researcher have isolated the gene that makes us want to discuss our ailments with anyone we meet.'
'So taking 75mg of Aspirin per day can reduce the risk of cancer by 21%...' - '...but leads to an increase in the risk of internal bleeding.' - 'Future studies are likely to indicate that medical researchers make very bad dinner party guests.'
Here's your problem! (tv lodged in brain)
"Biggest damn virus I've ever seen."
"Ah-choo." "You should be ashamed of yourself."
'Medical researchers have isolated the gene that makes us want to discuss our ailments with everyone we meet.'
"It looks like beer could ward off Alzheimer's."
Some patients may want to know more than others.
A small man under a giant microscope.
'Medical researchers discovered that the leading cause of death by aging is due to birthdays.'
"The test results are in for the medical marijuana, and frankly there's nothing there we didn't discover ourselves in college."
'Guinea pig - without whose help...'
'It appears that Medical Science has turned down the offer of my body.'
'Our big hope is that a celebrity comes down with something.'
'Ever since I had a disease named after me, people seem to keep their distance.'
Green slime coming out of an envelope.
Department Of Research Into Breathing