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'No, no, no...that's far too legible. Shakier. Much shakier!'
"He just loves his cute little postmortem doll!"
Tags:postmortem, postmortems, post-mortem, post-mortems, coroner, coroner, coroners, doll, dolls, toy, toys, favorite toy, favorite toys, christmas present, christmas presents, anatomy, human anatomy, anatomically correct, psycho, psychotic, sociopath, sociopaths, psychopath, psychopathic, medical, medical school, medical schools, cadaver, cadavers, educational tool, educational tools, christmas, xmas, x-mas
"I went to medical school with the guy who almost came up with a cure for what you have."
Tags:doctor, doctors, md, mds, gp, gps, clinic, clinics, doctors clinic, doctor's clinics, cure, cures, medicine, medicines, false hope, medication, medications, medicate, let down, let-down, disappoint, disappointment, disappointments, dissapointed, general practitioner, general practitioners, patient, patients, hospital, hospitals, diagnosis, diagnose, taunt, taunting, tease, teasing, medical school, medical schools, medical college, medical colleges
Hippocrates Off The Record - "First, treat no lawyers."
Tags:hippocrates, hippocratic oath, oath, oaths, first do no harm, lawyer, lawyers, pariah, pariahs, social pariah, social pariahs, doctor, doctors, med school, medical school, medical schools, student, students, med student, med students, physician, physicians, outcast, outcasts, attorney, attorneys
"I've donated all my diplomas to Doctors Without Diplomas."
Tags:hospital, hospitals, clinic, clinics, doctor's office, doctor's office, medical, medicine, doctor, doctors, patient, patients, health, health care, healthcare, med school, med schools, medical school, medical schools, doctor school, diploma, diplomas, certificate, certificates, degree, degrees, questionable, suspicious, generous, donated, donation, donations, charity, charitable, borders
"Oh, him? We went to medical school together."
"This is a teaching hospital."
Tags:hospital, hospitals, teaching hospital, teaching hospitals, medical, medicine, doctor, doctors, patient, patients, health, health care, healthcare, med student, med students, student, students, teacher, teachers, teach, teaching, medical student, medical students, doctor-in-training, doctors-in-training, future doctor, future doctors, school, schools, schooling, instructor, instructors, blackboard, blackboards, whiteboard, whiteboards, education, medical school, medical schools, med school, med schools, training, doctor training, medical training
'How did you become a doctor?' - 'I started as a patient and worked my way up.'
'Actually, you're my second patient if you count that cadaver in med school.'
'I can't read a word of this essay of yours. Excellent work.'
"Do I need to know this stuff to get into medical school?"
Tags:medical school, medical schools, medical student, medical students, medical degree, medical degrees, art museum, art museums, art gallery, art galleries, art exhibit, art exhibits, art exhibition, art exhibitions, culture, well-rounded, education, ambition, ambitions, ambitious, goal, goals, goal orientated
'How's the spleen?' 'The spleen? Where is it?' 'I never studied the spleen.' 'I was left back in my spleen class.' 'I failed spleen.' 'I thought we didn't have to know the spleen.'
'Oh for heaven's sake, Jim... all he wants to do is perform a vasectomy on you.'
"I'm studying to become a quack!"
Tags:medical school, medical schools, medical training, doctor, doctors, quack, quacks, medical student, medical students, medical training, medicine, university, universities, university hospital, university hospitals, medical malpractice, malpractice, health care, career, careers, career path, career paths, pun, puns
'Higgins, control yourself and sit down!'
"This semester I'm taking litigation avoidance. How about you?"
"Sometimes I wonder why I spent ten years at medical school and another 20 honing my skills..."
Tags:doctor, doctors, patient, patients, surgery, consultation, gp, gps, self-diagnosis, self diagnosis, self-diagnoses, self diagnoses, self diagnosing, self-diagnosing, healthcare, surgeon, surgeons, expertise, expert, experts, consultant, consultants, patient-care, patient care, medical training, medical school, medical schools
"Our daughter graduated from medical school Magna Cum Expensive."
Tags:magna cum laude, medical school, medical schools, medical training, tuition fee, tuition fees, college tuition, university tuition, university, universities, college, colleges, higher education, student debt, student debts, graduation, graduations, proud parent, proud parents, graduate, graduates
"I'm sending you to a doctor who has two diplomas."
Tags:diploma, diplomas, doctor, doctors, degree, degrees, medical degree, medical degrees, medical qualification, medical qualifications, specialist, specialists, specialism, referral, referrals, gp, gps, patient, patients, doctor's office, doctor's offices, medical school, medical training, medical schools
Tags:rectal exam, rectal exams, rectal examination, rectal examinations, proctologists, proctology, checkup, checkups, check up, check ups, medical school, medical schools, medical student, medical students, colorectal surgery, colorectal surgeon, colorectal surgeons, proctologist, school, pencil, testing, medicine, doctor, reynolds unwrapped
'Notice how I stare at the forms like I'm actually reading them... and generally moving very slowly so I'm a little further behind schedule as the day progresses.'
'I'd love to have you join, Mom, but the medical school I go to doesn't have a PTA.'
'According to a recent survey, nine out of ten doctors, if they had it to do over, would go to law school.'
Surgeons high-five spectators as they enter emergency room.