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"Honey, I'm home!"
"The doctor would like you to pee into this chalice."
"I hope this visit from your king has brightened your outlook on things."
A king chooses rugs
"Sayyyyy... Do you know anything about budgets?"
Tags:king, kings, medieval king, medieval kings, court jester, court jesters, jester, jesters, court, royal court, royal courts, juggle, juggling, juggler, jugglers, balance, balancing, balances, budget, budgets, treasurer, treasury, chancellor of the exchequer, chancellors of the exchequer, balancing the books, juggling priorities
"What time do you get off work?"
"They were fine with tyranny, cruelty and oppression, but you really pissed them off when you rooted for the wrong football team."
Tags:tyranny, tyrant, tyrants, king, kings, medieval king, medieval kings, ruler, rulers, bad ruler, bad rulers, revolt, revolts, uprising, uprising, common people, peasants, peasant, rebellion, rebellions, football, football fan, football fans, football team, football teams, football nut, football nuts, football lover, football lovers
"Well, you did say you wanted to boost user engagement."
Tags:user engagement, engagement, boost engagement, boosting engagement, business jargon, business talk, corporate jargon, marketing, public relations, medieval castle, medieval castles, medieval king, medieval kings, king, kings, jester, jesters, baying mob, mobs, medieval town, medieval towns, unpopularruler, unpopular rulers, protest, protests, protester, protesters
"I'd like something smaller – something with fewer walls to defend."
Tags:castle, castles, king, kings, queen, queens, medieval castle, medieval castles, medieval king, medieval kings, medieval queen, medieval queens, property, properties, moving house, moving houses, downsize, downsizing, downsized, ramparts, castle wall, castle walls, defend, defending, defences, defenses
"We shall run this past the royal lawyer."
Tags:lawyer, lawyers, attorney, attorneys, solicitor, soliticors, king, kings, royal, royalty, king john, medieval king, medieval kings, medieval history, magna carta, charter, charters, charter of rights, historian, historians, history, english history, english king, english kings, knight, knights, medieval knight, medieval knights
"I just thought that a horrific, humiliating defeat at the hands of the French, plus time, equaled comedy."
Tags:jester, jesters, joker, joker, court jester, court jesters, king, kings, medieval king, medieval kings, anglo-french war, anglo-french wars, hundred years wars, war, wars, battle, battles, defeat, defeats, humiliating defeat, humiliating defeats, richard ii, king richard ii, medieval history, history, joke, jokes, comedy, comedian, humor is tragedy plus time, tragedy plus time, comedian, comedians
"His royally down-to-earth Highness will see you now."
"The screen porch makes it a home."
"Sorry , sorry. Present I'm not here."
"He really does think he can hold back the tides and then he wonders why everyone calls him Cnut!"
Tags:cnut, canute, king canute, king cnut, cnut the great, canute the great, king canute and the waves, wave, waves, tide, tides, medieval king, medieval myth, medieval myths, medieval mythology, folk story, folk stories, piety, morality tale, morality tales, mental health, crazy, craziness, insane, insanity
Runnymede 1215: 'No - look! If that's nine, then the seven's wrong.'
"Poureth no more - My cup runneth over!"
"Look, Sire, I collected feedback from the people. They really like you!!"
Tags:feedback, like, like button, liking, thumbs up, evaluation, poll, show of hands, referendum, election, ballot, reaction, assessment, survey, prognosis, king, dictator, monarch, govern, government, ruling, power, abuse, tyrant, tyrants, tyranny, medieval king, medieval kings, hands, dismembered, dismember
"Well, Jester... The king laughed at even your cheekiest jokes but covering his pizza with pineapple was way too much!"
"He doesn't suffer fools gladly."