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"At this time, we'd like to begin boarding our 'It's all about me' members."
Tags:air travel, airport, airports, airline, airlines, airplane, airplanes, aeroplane, aeroplanes, plane, planes, flying, flight, flights, traveler, travelers, traveling, travellers, travellers, travelling, passenger, passengers, boarding, announcement, announcements, member, members, membership, narcissism, narcissist, narcissists, ego, egotistic, egoist, egoists, egotistical, vain, vanity, selfish, self-centered, self-centred, modern line
"Before we start, have you folks considered upgrading to Platinum Élite membership?"
Tags:fire, fires, fireman, firemen, firefighter, firefighters, member, membership, memberships, premium membership, premium memberships, premium member, premium members, upgrade, upgrades, upgrading, libertarian, libertarians, capitalist, capitalists, capitalism, emergency, emergencies, emergency worker, emergency workers, 911, pushy, pushiness, salesman, salesperson, salespeople
'Welcome to the frat, Todd! OK, Bob. Your turn. If you want to be a member, you've got to let him get you riiiight up to the net before you snap the line.'
Tags:frat, frats, fraternity, fraternities, fish, fishes, fishing, fisher, fishers, fished, fisherman, fishermen, angle, angles, angling, angler, anglers, hook, hooks, bait, baits, member, members, membership, memberships, initiation, initiations, initiating, net, nets, rod, rods, in the bleachers, bleachers, in the bleachers
"How much does it cost to buy a membership then never use it?"
Tags:fitness, exercise, club, clubs, exercise club, exercise clubs, fitness club, fitness clubs, health club, health clubs, gym, gyms, health, join, joining, member, members, membership, new member, new members, resolution, resolutions, new years resolution, new years resolutions, sign-up, sign-up, never use, waste, wasteful, useless, cost, costs, money, pay, gym membership, going to the gym, joining a gym
Cameron speaks out about EU - or did he?
"Would you care to join the 'American association of dead people'?"
'I've just been laid off. Is it too late to sign that union card you were telling me about?'
'The N.R.A's Written Test for A Gun License.'
"And if you sign up for our Gold Star membership level we stop pestering you to sign up."
Tags:grocery store, grocery stores, supermarket, supermarkets, super market, super markets, loyalty card, loyalty cards, loyalty scheme, loyalty scheme, membership card, membership cards, loyalty schemes, memberships, membership, sales tactics, sales tactic, pester, pestering, annoy, annoying, shop, shopping, shopper, shoppers, commercialism, consumerism, consumerist, capitalism, capitalist, capitalist, shop assistant, shop assistants, pestered, badger, badgering, badgered, annoy, annoying, annoyed, irritate, irritating, irritated, pressure, pressurising, pressurizing, pressurise, pressurize
'Momma, we elected you as honorable member of our club. You're in charge of eats and drinks.'
"Sometimes I wonder why we bother with unions these days..."
Together we have a voice...Join your union today.
Tags:trade union membership, trade union, labour union, labour unions, labor union, labor unions, membership, memberships, factory worker, factory workers, unsafe practices, employee rights, worker rights, worker, workers, labour disputes, labor disputes, trade unions, trade union memberships, union
Man excluded from a group of other men.
"You've all been working very hard lately, and you deserve some time off. I'm giving you all a two-day membership to time-off.com."
Densa - We take anyone.
'Proctor & Gamble, Proctor & Gamble, Kimberly-Clark...Can't anyone in this investment club think outside the diaper?'
"We're not accepting applications right now, but we'll give you a call the minute one of our members drowns."
Tags:swimming, swim, swimmer, swimmers, swimming club, swimming clubs, exclusive, exclusive clubs, club, clubs, competitive swimming, competitive swimmer, bad swimmer, bad swimmers, closed club, waiting list, waiting lists, drown, drowning, drowned, swimming pool, pool, pools, hobby, hobbies, dangerous hobbies, dangerous hobby, extreme sport, extreme sports, membership, members only
"I canceled my membership, but they keep withdrawing money. I've lost 15 pounds so far fighting them in court."
'Steak knife please, Phil.'
'Congratulations - here's your black ball, you've been appointed to the membership committee,'
"That's right, Mr. Jenkins, we rejected your membership application because you wrote your name on it..."
Drunk Golfer: "This is 'A Full Member'.
National Apathy Society: Come in or Whatever.
'Did he just flip me the feeding fish?'