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"You've been in harness for twenty seven years, Hargraves, and now we'd like to shoot you."
Tags:retirement, forced retirement, fire, fired, firing, firings, layoff, layoffs, lay-off, lay-offs, laid off, mass lay offs, put out to pasture, shoot, shoots, killing, killings, execution, executions, mercy killing, mercy killings, livestock, corporate culture, horse, horses, harness, harnesses, heartless, merciless, manager, managers, executive, executives, corporate drone, office drone, white collar job, white collar jobs
'I had my vet put down. He was over 23!'
Feeding Tubes Removed $50.
Doing the Right Thing
'Would you also like to purchase the extended warranty?'
"Only if he breaks his own leg, dear."
Tags:little fat ponies, little pony, little fat pony, little ponies, pony, ponies, horse, horses, riding lesson, riding lessons, equestrian, equestrians, stables, horse rider, horse riders, horse riding, horse ride, riding class, riding classes, riding school, riding schools, riding instructor, riding instructors, riding teacher, riding teachers, animal euthanasia, euthanasia, mercy killing, mercy killings, riding accident, riding accidents, broken, leg, legs, injury, injuries, thelwell
"I had no alternative Mr. Prendergast. Your daughter fell and broke her leg."
Tags:little fat ponies, little pony, little fat pony, little ponies, pony, ponies, horse, horses, riding lesson, riding lessons, equestrian, equestrians, stables, horse rider, horse riders, horse riding, horse ride, bridleway, bridle path, riding class, riding classes, riding school, riding schools, mercy killing, mercy killings, euthanasia, broken leg, broken legs, animal euthanasia, riding accident, riding accidents, thelwell
"It was a mercy killing. I just couldn't stand to see him suffer in front of that TV each time his favorite team lost."
"I also do suicides."
Tags:mercy killing, assisted suicide, old age, elderly, elder, elders, age, ages, ageing, aging, death, die, died, dead, dying, good deed, good deeds, euthanasia, euthanize, euthanized, dark humor, dark humour, black humor, black humour, kid, kids, child, children, club, clubs, old lady, old ladies, old people, youth
"This dog is old, sick and useless. Take him and abandon him somewhere in the woods. Take Higgins from accounting with you. He is old, sick, and useless, too."
'Considering his age, I think the best solution is to put your husband down.'
'And for dessert I'd recommend this affordable vintage called Chateau Coup de Grace.'
'Lets just say if it was a horse I'd shoot it.'
The Cowboy Way; Doing the Right Thing
'Would you kindly not dig holes in my field? I could break a leg, and we both know what that means...'
It was a mercy killing. I just couldn't stand to see him suffer in front of that TV each time his favorite team lost.
I didn't have the heart to shoot him in the head, so I thought I'd gas him instead!
'That one, however, was a mercy killing.'
'I'm sorry, dude... But the boss said 'No witnesses'!'
"His hip isn't getting any better. I really should have him put to sleep."
Tags:pets, dogs, aging, health, end of life care, euthanasia, health, hip replacement, palliative care, worry, old age, mercy killing, mercy killings, dog, canine, canines, role reversal, role reversals, assisted suicide, assisted suicides, pensioner, pensioners, senior citizen, senior citizens, hip replacement, hip replacements