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"You've been in harness for twenty seven years, Hargraves, and now we'd like to shoot you."
Feeding Tubes Removed $50.
Doing the Right Thing
'Would you also like to purchase the extended warranty?'
"I had no alternative Mr. Prendergast. Your daughter fell and broke her leg."
"Only if he breaks his own leg, dear."
"This dog is old, sick and useless. Take him and abandon him somewhere in the woods. Take Higgins from accounting with you. He is old, sick, and useless, too."
'Considering his age, I think the best solution is to put your husband down.'
'And for dessert I'd recommend this affordable vintage called Chateau Coup de Grace.'
'Lets just say if it was a horse I'd shoot it.'
The Cowboy Way; Doing the Right Thing
'Would you kindly not dig holes in my field? I could break a leg, and we both know what that means...'
It was a mercy killing. I just couldn't stand to see him suffer in front of that TV each time his favorite team lost.
I didn't have the heart to shoot him in the head, so I thought I'd gas him instead!
'That one, however, was a mercy killing.'
'I'm sorry, dude... But the boss said 'No witnesses'!'
"His hip isn't getting any better. I really should have him put to sleep."