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"I want you to switch from alchemy and shape-shifting to job creation."
Tags:wizard, wizards, merlin, magician, magicians, alchemy, alchemist, alchemists, king, kings, royal, royals, royality, government, governments, dictator, dictators, dictatorship, inexperience, inexperienced, unemployment, unemployment issues, unemployment crisis, shape shifting, shape shifter, shape shifter, shape-shifting, shape-shifter, shape-shifters, unqualified, under-qualified, under qualified, bad leadership, reshuffles, reshuffle cabinet reshuffle, cabinet reshuffles, reshuffling, cabinet reshuffling
"The road ahead is filled with danger. Take this lawyer for protection."
Tags:lawyer, lawyers, king arthur, merlin, quest, quests, knight, knights, camelot, knightly quest, knightly quests, attorney, attorneys, legal representative, legal representatives, protection, middle ages, bodyguard, bodyguards, protective detail, protective details, wandering sword, wandering swords, fantasy
Lady of the Remote
Tags:tv remote, tv remotes, television remote, television remotes, remote, remotes, remote control, remote controls, remote controller, remote controllers, clicker, clickers, excalibur, sword in the stone, lady of the lake, king arthur, merlin, legend of king arthur, camelot, english mythology, ancient history, lost remote, lost remotes, modern life, modern times, modern technology, modern technologies, modern attitudes, tv, tvs, television, televisions
"Use thy core!"
Tags:excalibur, king arthur, merlin, camelot, arthurian, literature, myth, myths, legend, legends, folklore, magic, sword, swords, stone, stones, wizard, wizards, britain, british, united kingdom, health, fitness, strength, personal trainer, personal trainers, advice, advising, core, exercise, pulling, encouraging, encouragement
'Whomever pulls the sword from the stone will lead this project.'
"Whosoever pulleth this sword from this stone, and can eat just two or three of these double-chocolate Amaretto things without finishing the whole box, shall be king born of England!"
Tags:snack, snacks, snack food, snack foods, moreish, more-ish, scarf, scarfing, scarfs, cookie, cookies, biscuit, biscuits, amaretto, chocolate, chocoholic, chocoholics, sword in the stone, king arthur, merlin, overeat, overeats, overeating, eat, eats, eating, double chocolate, binge, binge eating, binge eat, king of england, prophecy, prophecies
Merlin realizes too late that he shouldn't be hexing while driving.
'The sword in the stone was just a warm-up - now you must remove this remote control ...'
'Actually, there's no interview necessary. Just pull out the sword and the job's yours.'
"Hobart, this is Merlin, my science adviser."
Tags:king, kings, monarch, monarchs, sovereign, sovereigns, ruler, rulers, royalty, royal, king arthur, arthur, merlin, arthurian, arthurian legend, arthurian legends, camelot, literature, history, medieval, science, scientific, advisor, advisors, adviser, advisers, magic, magician, magicians, wizard, wizards, wise, intelligent, advise, advice, pseudo, spurious, pretend
Whosoever draweth out the publishing, recording, and distribution contracts from the stone shall forever be acknowledged as the Duke of Earl, and nothing can stop him.
Tags:duke of earl, royalty, royal, royal family, royal families, excalibur, king arthur, sword in the stone, myth, myths, mythology, merlin, king arthur, arthurian, contracts, contract, contract law, contract laws, publishing contract, publishing contracts, recording contract, recording contracts, distribution contract, distribution contracts, solicitor, solicitors, attorney, attorneys, lawyer, lawyers, barrister, barristers, counsel, counselor, legal counsel
'You can be replaced by Harry Potter, you know!'
"He that can remove the sword shall be king, eh? Heh, heh - Guess we're looking at the future King Bertie."
'Good work pulling the sword from the stone. Now, how 'bout loosening the lid on the magic pickle jar?'
Tags:arthur, king arthur, sword in the stone, merlin, wizard, wizards, king, kings, pull, pulls, pulling, pulled, sword, swords, stone, stones, loose, loosen, loosens, loosened, pickle jar, pickle jars, jar, jars, strength, strengths, magic, magick, lid, lids, cap, caps, pickle, pickles, the flying mccoys, flying mccoys
"And the truly amazing thing about the sword, Arthur, is that it will still slice a tomato!"
WD-40: Arthur's Technological Advantage.
"You can't cut my head off - I have TENURE!"
"They're my Knights of the Round Table! - Stop calling them my focus group!"
'That's no lady - she hasn't even shaved her armpits.'
'There's been an update. Instead of abracadabra, it's option/control key.'
'Good God! What's that? I wish Merlin would stick to the occasional dragon manifestation and free eggs for the peasants.'
'On second thought..you stand acquitted of all charges!'
'In the future I see much spam and many people with a blog.'
King Arthur watching the Lady of the Lake impale a passing duck.
Tags:merlin, wizard, wizards, portable loo, portable loos, portable toilet, portable toilets, porta-potty, porta-potties, porta potty, porta potties, portal, portals, magic spell, magic spells, wizardry, sci fi, science fiction, sci-fi, science-fiction, toilet, toilets, modern plumbing, castle, castles, modern amenities, modern amenity