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The Post-Menopause early warning system.
"The only thing that still works well for me is hysteria."
"I think they were a civilization that celebrated middle age!"
Tags:mint, mints, sweets, candy, chocolate, melting chocolate, senior, seniors, ageing, getting old, getting older, pensioner, pensioners, deterioration, deteriorating, out of date, best before, date, use by date, old people, old person, elderly people, elderly person, middle age, middle aged, middle-age, middle-aged
"Oh, Marty! Our first gray hair!"
Tags:relationship, relationships, marriage, marriages, married life, couple, couples, spouse, spouses, old, aging, ageing, growing old, growing older, getting older, getting old, growing old, old age, gray hair, gray hair, going gray, going grey, hair, middle age, middle aged, midlife crisis, mid-life crisis
"Harold and I were staying home long before it was fashionable."
Tags:couple, couples, husband and wife, husbands and wives, marriages, long term relationship, long term relationship, long-term relationships, before it was cool, unsocial, antisocial, anti social, anti-social, introvert, introverts, introversion, lazy, laziness, middle age, middle aged, middle-age, middle-aged, getting old, getting older, behind the times, aging
'You think this is hot. Try having hot flashes, too.'
"Yeah, but for a fat guy who doesn't exercise I'm in pretty good shape."
Tags:eat, eating, diet, diets, fitness, fit, fitter, exercise, exercising, exercises, exercised, physical fitness, physically fit, middle-age, middle age, middle aged, obese, obesity, morbidly obese, morbid obesity, xxl, food, foodie, obesity epidemic, fat, overweight, weight, weightloss, weight loss, weight-loss, good shape, in shape, irony, ironic, dramatic irony, bad shape, out of shape, healthy, health and wellbeing
"I never think of you, as, like, old, Jack. I think of you as, like, retro."
Tags:modern, modernity, modernize, modern world, modern life, middle age, middle-age, middle aged, middle-aged, mid life, midlife, mid-life, mid life crisis, midlife crisis, mid-life crisis, retro, out of fashion, old, older, age, ageing, aged, growing old, getting old, mutton dressed as lamb, euphemisms, implied, implication, flatter, flattery, golddigger, gold-digger, taking advantage, club, clubs, clubbing, date, dates, dated, word play, play on words, word-play
"Ah, the ecstasy of moving all the right muscle groups."
A bunch of baseball players sitting on a baseball diamond watching TV.
Tags:sport, sports, baseball, playing baseball, baseball player, baseball players, baseball diamond, baseball diamonds, athlete, athletes, couch potato, couch potatoes, lazy, middle age, middle aged, middle-age, middle-aged, television, televisions, watching television, tv, tvs, watching tv, t.v., t.v.s, watching t.v., recreation league, recreation leagues, sports team, sports teams, baseball team, baseball teams, playing sports, watching sports, man, men, getting old, getting older, growing old, growing older, old age
"I need something that says, 'Let's party,' but in a fiscally responsible manner."
Tags:party, parties, fiscal responsibility, fiscally responsible, conservative, careful, party animal, party animals, outfit, outfits, pantsuit, pantsuits, dress, dresses, dress-up, middle age, middle-aged, forty, fortysomething, thirtysomething, professional, professionals, shindig, shindigs, savings, save up, saves up, saving up
"I too want companionship, intimacy, someone to grow old with, but not 24/7."
Tags:relationship, relationships, relationship issues, relationship problems, dating, date, dates, boyfriend, boyfriends, girlfriends, partner, partners, marriage, marriages, married life, couple, couples, husband, husbands, wife, wives, spouse, spouses, companionship, intimacy, someone to grow old with, middle age, middle-age, middle-aged, middle-aged, aging, ageing, growing old, growing older, getting older, getting old, growing old, 24/7, freedom, personal freedom, space, personal space
"In the last few months, Matthew has gone on twenty-four-hour alert for signs of aging."
Tags:relationship, relationships, marriage, marriages, married life, couple, couples, husband, husbands, wife, wives, spouse, spouses, beauty, attractiveness, youth, ging, ageing, growing old, growing older, getting older, getting old, growing old, old age, old, middle age, middle-age, middle aged, middle-aged, midlife crisis, mid-life crisis, signs of aging, signs of ageing, 24 hour, twenty-four hour, alert, alerts, emergency, emergencies, vanity, vain, ego, egotistical, egotistic, wrinkle, wrinkles
"I used to be innocent. Then I was naive. Now I'm just dumb."
Tags:psychology, insecure, insecurity, insecurities, innocent, innocence, naive, gullible, dumb, stupid, intelligence, ego, self-esteem, self-confidence, self-worth, self-value, mental health, worry, worries, worrying, anxious, anxiety, anxieties, mental health, decline, declines, declining, deteriorate, deteriorates, deteriorating, deterioration, devolve, devolves, devolving, devolution, middle age, middle-aged, midlife crisis
"Isn't this more fun than spending money on dinner and a movie?"
"Miss Gaines, send in someone who reminds me of myself as a lad."
"He's running late this morning. He unexpectedly snapped out of denial."
Tags:denial, in denial, late for work, morning, mornings, monday, mondays, monday morning, monday mornings, midlife crisis, mid-life crisis, middle age, middle aged, getting old, getting older, ageing, crisis, existential crisis, running late, excuse, excuses, bad excuse, bad excuses, sick day, sick days, sick leave, sickie, sickies, the inevitability of death
"Shaving your head takes the guesswork out of going bald."
Tags:bald, balding, alopecia, losing hair, losing your hair, going bald, ageing, getting old, getting older, middle age, middle aged, bald patch, bald patches, receding hairline, receding hairlines, shaving your head, vain, vanity, hairloss, hair loss, advice, good advice, giving advice, beauty tip, beauty tips, insecure, insecurities, guesswork
Still fits like a glove after all these years!
"For your birthday this year I thought we'd have a pinata."
Tags:relationship, relationships, love, marriage, marriages, married life, couple, couples, husband, husbands, wife, wives, spouse, spouses, birthday, birthdays, celebration, celebrations, party, parties, pinata, pinatas, childish, immature, middle age, middle-age, middle aged, middle-aged, getting older, growing older, getting old, growing old, old age
"I think his Olympic dreams have died."
"You need a transplant, but there are very few good parts for middle-aged women."
Tags:transplant, transplants, organ transplant, organ transplants, organ donor, organ donors, organ donation, role, roles, acting, actor, actors, actress, actresses, middle age, middle-aged women, audition, auditions, auditioning, glass ceiling, hollywood, age, ages, ageing, medical advice, good part, good parts, good role, good roles, older women
"Forgive me, Eddie, if I'm unable to contain the occasional squeal of anticipatory glee over the new 'Star Wars' movie."
"Are you starting to feel fabulous yet?"
Tags:fabulous, feeling, feelings, cocktail party, cocktail parties, unattractive, fabulous, sarcasm, out-of-place, stick out, sticking out, sore thumb, stand out, stands out, standing out, model, models, fashion model, fashion models, good looking, average looking, hollywood, unrealistic, beauty, beauty standard, beauty standards, exclude, excludes, exclusion, excluding, hipster, hipsters, middle age, middle-aged, average-looking