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"He has intelligence but none of it is actionable."
"We're slipping you this decoration, K-43, in recognition of your distinguished service in military intelligence."
"Stay cool - we're picking up a lot of chatter."
"How many of those 'email blasts' are we talking about, General."
"The situation in Iraq appears to be going well, gentlemen. That, however, is a map of Staten Island."
"Possible security breach, sir. It's the smart bombs. They know too much."
"Let's not waste missiles on cities not important enough to have a professional sports franchise."
"And this is the new spy satellite we're building to spy of the spy satellite spying on our spy satellite."
"Our intelligence shows that everybody loves us."
"Count them again. There can't be more trouble sports than there are countries."
"Now it's all about 'mistrust and verify.' I miss the old days when 'might made right.'"
"We got winners!"
"Our intelligencia said we will be outnumbered 100 to one, but that we can hope it's only fake news."
Weapons against intelligence
Secret Services Club
'Hey, if you pull up a war game of Godzilla destroying Tokyo, that's just my son hacking our data base.'
Oxymoron of the day...
"I know we have some invisible ink somewhere but we can never find it..."
"OK you smart arses...who wrote that on smart bomb number four?"
"Is my phone line secure? Yes, it's got little cable ties and everything."
'Moles have had their day. Why don't we train a few rabbits and see how they get on in the west?'
'Bob, you're fired as Estimator of Enemy Numbers.'
'Cold war in Europe? We're still working to declassify WWII.'